"Okay."
I got into the front seat, all of a sudden, feeling nervous about being with Tanner alone. What if he did get scared? What if I couldn't console him?
We drove from Jess's house out to my dad’s house and I wondered if I should call him to give him a warning beforehand. But in the backseat, Tanner was chatting away, I couldn't very well call my father or be preoccupied by it when I needed to be focused on the road and my son.
"Can we go see your house too," Tanner asked.
"When we’re done at my dad’s house, we can see what time it is and talk to your mom about that."
"I hope she says yes. I like having a daddy."
It was the first time in my life that I felt both like laughing and crying, all from a profound sense of love for this little boy.
We arrived at my dad’s house and I parked in the driveway.
"Your dad has a big house. Does it have a pool too?" Tanner asked as I figured out how to undo the straps of his car seat and get him out of the car.
"He doesn't have a pool but he does have the ocean."
"Sharks live in the ocean."
"They do. You're very smart. But I've never seen any sharks in my dad's part of the ocean."
I put him down and took his hand as I walked him to the house. I had no doubt that my dad and the rest of my family would be both surprised and yet very happy to learn about Tanner. But that didn't mean I still wasn't nervous about it.
We walked through the door and the house was quiet. It was a beautiful day out, so I suspected my father was out on the terrace or out in the water. Tanner and I made our way across the living room toward the doors to the terrace. I looked out and saw my father sitting having lunch.
I opened the door and stepped out with Tanner. "Dad?"
I walked toward my dad, but the closer we got the more Tanner started to retreat from my side to behind me.
My dad turned and smiled when he saw me, and then his brows rose high as he saw who was with me.
He looked from the boy to me. "Who do we have here?"
"This is Tanner." I turned to look behind me where Tanner was peering around my leg at my father. I wasn't quite sure what the right thing to do was. Did I force Tanner to greet my father? Or did I honor the fact that he seemed nervous and give him the time he needed to acclimate?
Tanner looked up at me and then both his hands reached up. I bent over, picking him. He wrapped his arms tight around me. The side of his face pressed to mine as he looked toward my father.
"Tanner, this is my dad. Your grandfather." I looked at my father to see his reaction.
My father's eyes widened in surprise and then a grin spread on his face. He slowly stood and approached us. "Well, how do you do Tanner? I am so, so happy to meet you."
Tanner's arm squeezed me tighter. "This is my daddy."
Tears welled in my father's eyes. "And he's the finest daddy ever."
"He said we could make sand castles."
My dad laughed. "I love making sand castles. And you know what? I think we have all the sand castle building tools we need. In fact, some of them belonged to your daddy."
Tanner brought his head back and looked at me. "You made sand castles when you were little too."
"All the time."
We weren't necessarily dressed to be out on the sand, but I didn't care and Tanner didn't seem to mind. The three of us made our way out with the buckets and shovels and other items used for making sand castles.
For the next hour we dug and built. Before long, Tanner had taken to my father like I knew he would. But with the sun and surf and excitement, I could see Tanner was starting to droop.