“There was so much blood, and his face. Oh God, his handsome face,” She sobs into Lewis’s arms as he hugs her tight to his chest, rubbing soothing circles on her back.
I don’t know how to sit here and simply wait. I’m waiting for Joey to walk in any minute now and tell me it sounded worse than it was. However, he doesn’t.
Joey’s Ma comes in ignoring me completely. I am pretty sure she just snubbed her nose at me, but it isn’t surprising. She goes straight for her daughter, demanding information. I sit with my head in my hands absorbing the story for the second time. Only this time Natalie blurts out what they were disagreeing about with coaxing from Gertie.
“He told me tonight was special.” She looks away when my eyes meet hers. Panic bubbles in my throat. Were they arguing about me? “I know he wanted it to be a surprise. I’m sorry, Audrey. Joe was planning on proposing to you tonight.”
Tears of joy and sadness run down my face with her admission. My Joey wants to make me his wife. But why would they be fighting about that? Oh my God, she doesn’t want me with Joey. I thought she was okay with us, but apparently, I thought wrong. I want to comment but refrain. This is hardly the time or place.
She’s my best friend. I feel sick to my stomach thinking about her not wanting me for a sister-in-law.
I accompany Lewis to the vending machines to get coffee and to give Nat and her mom a moment alone.
Alone and numb, that’s how I feel right now. I feel sick to my stomach, but I drink the gross coffee for something to do to pass the time.
The waiting and the not knowing is tearing me up inside.
**
We have been sitting in the waiting room for four hours now, waiting for answers, eager to just know something...anything. No one is speaking. None of us know what to say. I’m afraid if I say anything it will just set Gertie off. She has never wanted Joey and me to last. Even her dog hates me. Bowser barks at me non-stop every time we go over for dinner, which isn’t often. She hasn’t invited me over since she walked in on us last Christmas.
I don’t know what she wants from me. I love her son and we are adults.
A doctor walks in with a somber, telling face. His eyes are heavy with regret.
“Is my son okay?” Gertie rushes over clutching his hands, grasping for hope.
The world is moving in slow motion as he speaks.
His voice is gravely. “Your son has suffered, multiple, devastating injuries. We repaired what we could, but we don’t expect him to survive the night. He’s on life support, and I wish there was more I could do for him. If you’d like to see him, I suggest you do it now and begin making preparations.”
At this point I am frozen in place.
His words can’t be true.
I have to get to Joey.
He needs me.
I can bring him back.
He will come back—for me.
Natalie is collapsed in a chair wailing loudly that this is all her fault. Lewis is doing his best to console her without much luck. Her light brown hair is knotted and wild as she shoves him away. I feel like I’m having an outer body experience, and this can’t really be happening right now.
“Mrs. Carwell. Your son is an organ donor. We will need you to go over the paperwork at your convenience, but the sooner you act the sooner we can save other families from this heartache.”
“Oh my God!” I yell, snapping out of my daze. “He’s not dead yet and you already want to harvest him for his organs. Fuck you, whatever your name is. Joey is a fighter. He will fight his way back to me,” I cry and go to smack the man but stop myself.
“Miss, I’m sorry. I know this is difficult to hear, but Joe has a good heart. His organs could save a lot of lives.”
Gertie is clutching her chest, wavering on her feet. I grip her elbows offering her my support.
“You make me sick. You are disgusting,” I continue to rant as I help Joey’s mom to a chair. “I’ve read stories about sickos like you. You are all too eager to cut up my boyfriend and steal his parts, so you can feel like a hero... Well, not today,” I spit at him as I get back in his tired face.
“Miss, please calm down, I understand you are upset, but the situation won’t change, he’s brain dead. If you’d like to see him, I’ll take you in myself.”
I am so angry. My body is vibrating. Fat hot tears well up in the corners of my eyes, blinding me and I can’t breathe. My chest constricts. A Mac Truck just parked on my chest. Falling to my knees, I throw up that nasty coffee all over the doctor’s shoes.