He lays his guitar to the side and motions me to him. I curl up on the other side of him and we end up falling sleep from exhaustion from traveling the past two days.
After our much needed nap, Kai and I go for a walk on the strip. We do all the tourist stuff, visiting gift shops and getting shot glasses and silly his and her t-shirts. I snag a shirt for Raven too. I know how badly she wanted to come.
We visit the wax museum and some of those statues are so creepy. I snap a picture of Kai with the wax version of Hugh Hefner. He takes one of me with Adam Levine. I send the pic of Adam and me to Raven and she replies with a pouty face.
Kai pulls me into a photo booth and we make out like crazy. I don’t think you can see our faces in any of the pictures.
My phone buzzes with an incoming call from my mother. I don’t want to answer it and have her spoil the great night we are having, but the guilt of ignoring proves to be too much.
“Hello,” I answer dreading what is to come.
“Where are you Katie?”
“Out with Kai,” I reply hesitant to tell her I am at the beach. Who knows what she will try to do.
“Why haven’t you come to see me? I’m in the hospital ya know.”
“I’m sorry you are hurt. Did David do that to you?”
?
??No, why would you say something like that. I fell down the steps out front and got banged up is all.” I know she is lying so I lie to and tell her I will come talk to her soon. I am sure she will be back to thinking I am the bane of her existence soon enough.
“You okay?” Kai kisses my temple noticing that phone call drained the life out of me.
“I’m perfect, because I’m here with you.” I kiss his cheek and try to put on a smile for him.
We end up back on the beach after he takes our stuff to the room. I decide to tell Kai everything about my mother, all of it. I start from the beginning. The look on his face when I tell him I am the product of rape has me scared that maybe he won’t want me anymore. What if he thinks that I am dirty? Tears sting at my eyes when I tell him how I went to church hoping God would see that I wasn’t bad, because my mother is always referring to me as an abomination. Kai cries with me when I get to the part about my mom thinking I would take her place and become a whore too.
I keep waiting for him to run away hard and fast but he doesn’t. Instead, he holds me tight against his chest. “Kat, baby you will never live that life again. I promise you I won’t ever let anyone hurt you or make you do anything you don’t want to do. If anyone ever tries I will kill them.”
I thought maybe Kai would open up and share his secret with me but he doesn’t. We sit on the beach just the two of us; the rest of the world seems to fade away as I lay here in his arms looking at the moon and the stars, wishing that we could stay like this forever. I want to push him to tell me everything about his relationship with Raven, but maybe after all of the heavy I just laid on him, his truth would be too much honesty for today.
The waves crash against the shore as the moon shines bright above. Kai sings softly in my ear soothing me. His voice just does something to me. I swear when he sings it as if he is speaking to my soul.
“Do you believe in soulmates Katie?”
“I like to believe that it is a real thing. That maybe there are two halves to one soul wandering the world looking for their home. And when they finally unite they become one.”
“That’s beautiful Kat, that’s the way I feel when I’m with you. You’re the missing piece of me that I never knew was absent.”
When we get back to the room, I don’t know what Kai says to his mom but she doesn’t say a word when he sleeps in my bed holding me all night. Memories of my childhood haunt me as I sleep. Opening up to Kai has opened up things I shut away years ago. Flashes of a strange man coming into my room at night. Hearing my mother laugh, as I scream no, to please stop! My arms thrash and my legs kick, but the pain doesn’t stop it gets worse.
A scream escapes my throat and I begin to shake violently. I awaken to Kai tugging on my arm telling me to wake up that it’s only a dream.
“What did your mother do to you Katie?” he begs me to tell him what I was dreaming about as his mom flips on my bedroom light to see what is going on. I don’t want Kai to hear that my mother used to let men touch me when I was in middle school and that I blocked the memories out only to remember it now.
Kelli tells Kai to go to his room. He goes reluctantly.
“Katie, you can talk to me. I won’t judge you and whatever you say to me won’t ever leave this room unless you want it to.”
It takes me probably an hour to get through it all. Kelli then admits to me that she recognized the signs in me. She works with social services and abused children. She hugs me and tells me that we don’t have to tell anyone if I don’t want to but that if my mom tries to contact me again she wants to file a report on her. The convention we are here for is because she is a guest speaker for a charity for sexually exploited children. We hug and we cry.
“Katie you will always have a place in my family, even if you and Kia don’t work out. I’m not saying you won’t but the two of you are young and have so much ahead of you.” I understand what she is saying because I worry about what the future holds for Kai and me too. Right now, I can’t think past graduation for us as a couple.
“Try to get some sleep, I will be in meetings most of the day tomorrow, so Kai will be helping you with Khloe. I am making an exception and letting him stay in here with you tonight.” She hugs me again and tells me goodnight.
Kai comes back in my room and doesn’t say anything. He holds me but he seems distant.