The Freshman (College Years 1)

A sigh escapes me. “What do I do about Hayden?”

And why am I asking Caleb, of all people?

“Talk to her. Call her out.”

That’s something I don’t really like to do. “Confront her?”

“Yeah,” Caleb nods enthusiastically. “See if she denies it. If she does, she’s a fuckin’ snake in the grass.”

“She won’t deny it.” I know she won’t, not when she had witnesses.

Plus, I don’t think Hayden would lie to me.

“Then yeah, confront her, and fight a little. Show her that you care. Don’t let her walk all over you and then walk out on you. Fight for her. Like Diego fought for Jocelyn,” Caleb says.

“That’s a different situation.” I lean back in my chair, remembering how fucking painful all of that was, and it only just happened. I never want to experience something like that. Witnessing Diego and Jocelyn’s struggle back to each other was difficult. I can’t imagine being the one doing all the struggling. Both of them went through so much.

Love trumps all though. They fought for each other because they loved each other. They each thought the other was worth the fight, and at different times too. Jocelyn fought for Diego when he had no fight in him, and then Diego brought it and fought hard for Jos and their baby when she’d given up.

Relationships aren’t even. Someone is always working a little harder than the other, and that’s in everything. Family. Friends. Romantically.

And that’s the thing. Caleb is…holy shit, I can’t believe I’m thinking this, but…Caleb is right. I’ve never had to struggle for anything. I have all the money I could want. A house, a car, I’m in school, I’m starting on the football team, I do my thing. When people walk out on me, I sweep it under the rug and proceed with my life like it never happened. Even recently, spending time with my dad again, I forgot about all the shit he did to me in the past. I let it go, I got mad at him all over again, and I gave up on continuing a relationship with him. He might’ve moved on from me, but I moved on from him as well. Two wrongs don’t make a right, isn’t that the old saying?

I let Mom get away with all her shit too. Maybe if I would’ve said something, she’d stuck around more. It’s not all up to me since I’m the kid, but I could say something now. Call her on her shit.

Not that I want to. I don’t like confrontation.

There’s my issue. I don’t want to confront Hayden because I’m not one to yell and carry on. I saw enough of that between my parents before they divorced. While they divorced. After they divorced.

It fucking sucks.

“I don’t want to fight with her,” I admit, my voice low. “I dealt with enough fighting in my life growing up. My parents went at each other nonstop.”

“I remember,” Caleb says. “They’d fight at games. They’d fight at school. We all saw it.”

Humiliating. I’d sort of blocked out that shit, and I can see why. “They were the worst.”

“Don’t let their terrible relationship control you, bro. Fighting sucks. Arguing sucks. My parents do it all the time,” he says.

“Wait a minute.” Caleb meets my gaze. “They argue all the time?”

“Well, not all the time, but they argue a lot. Over small stuff. Big stuff. Mom sa

ys it keeps the passion alive between them. They have a yelling match in the kitchen, one of them gives in and the next thing I know, they’re kissing on each other.” Caleb laughs, shaking his head. “They call it communicating, and I guess it’s the way they communicate. Having an argument with someone you care about doesn’t have to be a big, life ending thing.”

He shrugs. Like what he keeps on saying isn’t a big deal. But it’s a huge deal.

“What the fuck, Caleb? Where has this version of you been all our lives?” I stare at him in bewilderment. He’s making so much sense, it’s kind of freaking me out.

“None of you assholes take me seriously. You think I’m some dumb bro who doesn’t give a shit about anything but girls,” he says.

“That’s how you act.”

“I’m deep, motherfucker. Not as deep as Jackson Rivers, but I’ve got layers,” he says, sounding defensive.

I start to laugh. And it’s like I can’t stop. I should be freaked out and worried about my relationship with Hayden. Those shitty words she said to whoever. But I sort of don’t care right now. I’m too blown away by my friend and what he revealed.

Like about Sophie.