The Senior (College Years 4)

“I don’t want to talk to them.” Actually, I’m dying to talk to them, but I can’t admit that.

“I doubt they really want to talk to you either.”

Ouch. That was a fuckin’ zinger. I rub at my chest, trying to ease the ache there. “Good. Guess we’re all on mutual terms then.”

“Look, Eli. You don’t have to act like a tough guy for my benefit. I know you’re suffering. I know you miss Ava, and I get it. I’d miss the shit out of her too if I were you.” He leans forward, his gaze imploring. “You might be able to fix this. You could probably talk to her and work it out. I doubt she’s over you.”

I watch him, my gaze roving over his face, looking for any clue that he might know more than what he’s saying. “Have you talked to her?”

Caleb slowly shakes his head.

“Heard it come straight out of her mouth that she misses me and wants me back?”

Another headshake.

No.

“Then I ain’t saying shit to her.” I rise to my feet, running my fingers through my hair once. Twice. A couple more times, tugging on the ends so hard it hurts. At least I’m feeling something. “Please tell me there’s a party after the game tonight.”

“Probably,” Caleb says with a shrug. “Why?”

He used to live for parties. He was the good-time guy of our friend group. You couldn’t take anything he did or said seriously. I used to be that kind of guy too, until I fell completely in love with Ava.

And then she moved away to go to college, and I started to feel bitter.

Resentful.

Pissed at myself for feeling that way.

Under pressure because the weight of this football team seems to settle on my shoulders. If we mess up or lose, I immediately think it’s my fault. Even when I know it’s not. But I’m their quarterback, their leader, and they all look up to me. I don’t want to let them down, especially since this is my last season.

Plus, there’s school. Grades. I’m struggling, trying to juggle it all, but all I can give is my best. I don’t even know what the fuck I’m going to do when college is over. I thought I had a plan, but it’s been ruined thanks to my impulsive actions.

Then there’s my family life, which is a joke. My dad isn’t around. My mom is flighty. My brother, as usual, is off doing his own thing and leaving it all on me.

“I need to get fucked up.” Fucked up so I can forget…

Everything.

Two

ava

“You have to look your absolute best tonight.” Autumn is currently in my closet, going through my clothes meticulously. “Like, knock him on his ass, make him regret every single decision he’s ever made in his life, hot.”

“I don’t want to look hot,” I mutter, exiting my closet and flopping backward onto my bed so I can stare up at the ceiling. I’ll let Autumn pick out something for me to wear. I’m over it. “I’d rather not go at all. I’m only doing this for Ash. And you.”

“He appreciates the support. So do I.” Autumn pops her head out of my walk-in closet, contemplating me. “Since his family isn’t around, we’re all he’s got.”

She disappears into my closet once more and I close my eyes with a sigh. She doesn’t need to remind me about her fiancé’s crappy family. That is truly the only reason I’m going—to support him. Though the entire crowd filling the stadium later tonight will be eager to support him as well.

Asher Davis is the hottest quarterback alive in the NFL. He took his team all the way to the Super Bowl his first season—and freaking won. He’s amazing. Everyone wants a piece of him. He’s fielding a variety of endorsements, and he and Autumn are engaged. The rock on her finger is huge and heavy. I know, because I’ve tried it on a couple of times, imagining what it would be like if Eli gave me a diamond like that.

The memory tastes bitter in my mouth and I swallow hard.

There will never be any diamonds from Eli for me.

“I forgot you owned this.” Autumn exits my closet with a Fresno State T-shirt on a hanger. It’s red with the bulldog mascot on the front. Cropped. Cute. “I found it stashed in the back of your closet.”