“I think so,” I said.
Once the decision had been made to leave, the next two weeks were a whirlwind of preparations. All my belongings had been either given away or packed up for shipment, and I hoped Mr. Jefferies would forgive me for the thirty days he needed to spend in quarantine.
Our flight wasn’t until the evening, but we needed to be at the airport by six.
“Do you mind if I meet you there? I want to do a couple of things first.”
Alex nodded, not pressing me for any further information. My first port of call was to see Luke, Sally, and their little girl, Lucia Annabelle Benson.
Lucia was born the week before, and was a ray of light at an otherwise horrible time. She forced Belle’s family to pick up the pieces and move on, whether they were ready or not. Luke had still wanted me to be her godparent, but I just couldn’t do it. With all the hurt I had caused that family, the last thing they needed was me with a lifelong connection to them.
Things between Luke and I were okay, but they would never be like they were before. I didn’t doubt we would stay in contact, and I truly hoped that one day I could restore our friendship to even a fraction of what it once was
***
I arrived at Luke and Sally’s, my heart thumping hard in my chest. I knew I needed to do this, but it didn’t make it any easier. Thank god Sally’s parents weren’t around that day. Facing them would’ve made things a thousand times harder.
I made my way up the path I’d walked a hundred times before, past the rose bushes and the cane chairs. I banged on the front door, momentarily forgetting there was a newborn baby inside who I had probably just woken up. Footsteps neared and the door flew open. Luke stood there, arms open. We hugged awkwardly. Well, it felt awkward for me at least.
“Come in,” he smiled, cocking his head. “How are you?” he asked earnestly.
I nodded. “I’m okay,” I said, actually meaning it for the first time in weeks. “How are Sally and Lucia?” I asked.
Luke smiled, his gaze dropping slightly. “Lucia is wonderful. I don’t think the timing could’ve been any more perfect. I think we all needed this, you know?” he said, a wistful smile on his face. I nodded, swallowing the lump in my throat.
I followed Luke into the nursery, where little Lucia was asleep in her crib. She was so little, her tiny little hands clenched into fists. She had fair skin and a mop of blonde hair. She was so much like Luke it was incredible.
“She looks like you, poor little thing,” I chuckled, gazing down at her. Luke punched my arm playfully. “Is Sally asleep?” I asked.
Luke nodded. “This little one takes a lot out of her. Hey, do you want a drink?” he asked me. I shook my head.
“No, I have a couple more things to do before I leave.”
Luke nodded, and walked me back to the front door. He reached into his pocket and pulled something out.
“I thought you might like this,” he said softly, handing me a small bag. I reached for it, a knot forming in my stomach. Inside was a picture of Belle. She was laughing, her smile stretched across her face. Something else fell out of the bag. I gasped when I realized what it was.
Her necklace.
I held up the tiny angel and stared at it, remembering the first time I saw her. My bottom lip quivered, threatening to give way to a fresh flood of tears.
“Thank you,” I said, grasping his hand.
***
/> My heart pounded as I slowed the car. I had no idea what the fuck I was doing there. The only conclusion I could come to was that I was insane. I sat in the car, the engine turned off, staring at the home where I grew up. The huge house felt so imposing. It looked so dark and uninviting.
I hadn’t spoken to Dad since that day in the hallway. The day Belle died. What was I expecting by coming here? An apology? An explanation? Deep down I knew, even before entering the house, that I’d get none of those things. My father was an emotionless shell that sucked the life out of those around him. Getting away from that was something I needed to do before it was too late. I needed closure. This would likely be the last time I would ever see my father, and I needed to at least try and get some answers.
I pressed the code into the security gates, half expecting it not to work. Changing all the codes after our fight was not something I would’ve put past him. I walked past the perfectly manicured lawns, the same ones I used to get yelled at for playing in, and up toward the front entrance.
The house was huge, with its six bedrooms, four bathrooms, and several living areas. As a child I’d felt lost here, empty—the same feelings I was experiencing now. As I rang the doorbell, a wave of anxiety swept over me. What would I say? Why the hell was I even here? It suddenly hit me how stupid and pointless this was. He was never going to tell me what I wanted to hear.
Before I could walk away, the door opened. My father stood there, his expression blank. There was no surprise, no happiness. Nothing. My father honestly felt nothing toward me.
“Jack,” he said. A slight eyebrow raise was the only acknowledgement I received.
“I came to say goodbye,” I said, my voice showing a strength I certainly wasn’t feeling right then. “I’m leaving, going to live with Alex,” I added.