Here With Me

“That’s a big suitcase.” Mindy’s voice interrupts my reverie.

I turn, and the sight of her rips through my heart. She’s so beautiful… and I know what I have to do. I have to let her go. I can’t chain her to me when I’m broken.

“Where you headed?”

“Nashville. I’ve got friends there. Taron has this…” My voice trails off before I can say the word therapist.

“Were you even going to tell me?” She’s dressed in all black like she’s in mourning, and I want to pull her in my arms and hold her, tell her I know I’m going to beat this, tell her I’ll be back soon and to wait for me.

But I don’t know if any of that is true.

I only know I have to end it.

“I was going to tell you.”

A sad smile crosses her face. “Why do I find that hard to believe?”

“I haven’t handled things very well.” Shutting everyone out was all I knew to do. Going to Patton, asking for help—these things are against my nature. “Are you… okay?”

“No.” Her voice is quiet.

Shame tightens my brow when I remember last night. “You’re not?”

“The man I love is in trouble, but he won’t let me help him. He’s struggling, but he won’t tell me why. Now I find him packing to leave, and I don’t think he was going to say goodbye.”

I turn toward the dresser, bracing my hands on the sides of the smooth wood. “Don’t say that.”

“What? The truth?”

“I hurt you, Mindy. I could do it again.”

“If you’re in trouble I want to help you.” The anguish in her voice lashes my bleeding chest.

“You can’t help me.” My hands tighten on the sides of the dresser, and I shove it against the wall. It hits with a loud crash, sending everything on top falling. “This isn’t like coming home without an arm or a leg. I can’t control this. I don’t even know why it happens.”

Every word feels like cutting out pieces of my heart.

Silence fills the room—the deafening kind that follows an outburst of rage. It pushes against the insides of my ears. It’s punctuated by the ticking of the clock, the sound of water running downstairs.

Everywhere else in the world, it’s just another Sunday afternoon. Here, in this quiet room, my world is falling apart.

“I love you.”

“Don’t.” I won’t let her say it.

She inhales a shaky breath, and a crystal tear falls when she blinks. “I know you feel like the entire world is on your shoulders. I know you think you have to be strong, to protect us. But please, Sawyer, don’t shut me out again.”

The break in her voice is more than I can bear, but I have to do the selfless thing. I have to set her free.

“I’m not shutting you out.” Turning to face her, I level my eyes, removing all emotion from my face, from my words. “I’m telling you it’s over. Go to Dallas and fo

llow your dreams. We’re through.”

23

Mindy

He’s gone.