She felt the burning behind her eyes as she stretched her hand across her stomach protectively, as if by sheer force of will she could protect the baby.
Taking a breath, she told herself she had to be calm. He was right; she had to stay calm…
She couldn't believe she had called him. When she saw the blood, she couldn't even think, so it didn't occur to her that she probably could have made it to the hospital faster if she would have driven her own car instead of waiting for him to come pick her up and take her.
But she didn't know if she would be able to drive. Her hands were shaking so badly that she was sure she wouldn't even be able to tie her shoes.
Even though it was only a few minutes, it felt like forever before she finally saw the familiar vehicle pull up to the apartment and stop at the door.
She had been standing by the window waiting for him to get there, and she practically ran out to get in the car once he finally pulled up.
"I got my stuff, let's go," she said quickly as she fastened her seat belt.
"Didn't I tell you to sit down? You were standing at the window," he complained.
"Let's go," she said, her eyes widening.
Aaron checked the rearview mirror to make sure no cars were coming and then he pulled back onto the road and started driving faster than usual.
"I'm sorry I made you leave work," she said. "I just… I just got scared and I wasn't even thinking that I could take myself, because I couldn't even breathe, and I didn't think about it, I just needed to get to the doctor and see if the baby's okay," she babbled, her eyes beginning to burn again.
"Hey, don't worry about it," he said, unthinkingly reaching over and taking her hand, giving it a light squeeze.
She was sure he hadn't meant to do that, because he looked a little bit surprised as he glanced at his hand on top of hers too, like someone else had put it there, but she was glad he did—she needed the support. She was pretty sure that her chest had never hurt quite as badly as it did—including the one and only time she had let her ex talk her into trying weed and she felt like an explosion went off in the left vicinity of her chest.
Since she didn't trust herself to talk and there were too many thoughts racing through her head to process, Julie just sat there in silence, holding his hand and trying not to cry.
He had her at the hospital in no time at all, and he dropped her off at the emergency room doors and then went to park.
Julie knew it was irrational, but the fact that everyone in the emergency room didn't move the hell out of her way so she could go back and see a doctor really annoyed her, and by the time the two people in front of her were out of the way Aaron was already coming in the doors behind her. He stood there with her quietly while she signed in and got the clipboard to fill out her insurance information, and then they went to sit in the chairs and wait.
"Are you okay?" Aaron asked softly.
It made no sense, but the way he asked made the burning come back behind her eyes and her hands shook as she attempted to formulate a "Yes," but it wouldn't come out of her mouth. Her lip quivered and she shook her head no.
Aaron moved forward on the chair so he could reach her better, then he pulled her close and gave her a hug. "You'll be okay," he assured her.
"I'm scared," she said into his shoulder, trying to wipe away the tears as quickly as they fell. "I don't want to lose the baby."
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"I know," he murmured, rubbing her back lightly.
"It isn't normal, is it? You're not supposed to bleed when you're pregnant unless you're losing it."
"Don't think like that, it could be something else," he told her to pacify her.
"I'm being punished," she cried, the tears falling a little more freely. "This is because I'm a bad person and I didn't deserve to have a baby."
"That's not true," he said more fiercely than she would have expected. "You are not a bad person, Julie, and you are not being punished. If anything happens, it's not because of anything you did."
"I don't want to lose it," she cried, burying her face in his jacket and trying to breathe as her body was shaking with sobs.
"Julie Kingsley," said a nurse with a clipboard.
Taking a couple of gasping breaths, Julie stood up and wiped her eyes, walking over to the nurse as she tried to collect herself.
Aaron followed her, and she was glad. She didn't want to be alone in there, but she wouldn't have asked him to go with her.