“But do you think Charlie will still, you know... hang out with us?”
In a huff, she pulled the dress off, standing there in only her lacy purple thong and matching bra.
“Eric, what’s going on?”
I hesitated, which was unlike me. I always had something to say, like always. I have been told on numerous occasions that I have no filter, like none whatsoever. But Kate hadn’t known me that long, and she didn’t know this was out of character.
“I just... you know, she is my best friend. I don’t want to lose her,” I shamelessly said, my head bowed, trying to understand why this got to me so much.
“Doll, look at me?”
I glanced up, Kate staring at me with this look of pity on her face, but god damn, seriously, she had a great pair of knockers; I mean like Halle Berry great.
“Are those real?” I asked sidetracked
“What? YES! And I didn’t mean look at my tits. Eric, Charlie treasures her friendships. Yes, life is changing, but for the better. She’ll always be in your life.”
“I guess... can I touch them to make sure?”
“Wait, you’re serious. Are you sure you aren’t straight?”
“Honey, please, vaginas scare me. It like reminds me too much of that movie Innerspace, you know with Meg Ryan? All pink and mucus like.”
Shaking her head in disgust, she put her jeans back on. “Never say mucus to me again. Honestly, Eric, your vagina lingo needs to step up a notch. And yes, you can, but make it quick.”
After confirming they were in fact real, we decided to head on out for a really late lunch before catching a movie. Kate was fast becoming my favorite person to hang out with; I just loved the British sense of humor.
“Will you still call Lex ‘sir’?”
“I don’t know... yes... I think. I can’t call him Lex in the office, you know.”
“Did you ever want to spank him when you called him ‘sir’?”
“WHAT? No... never. I have never looked at him that way. Trust me, back in the day I saw way too much of his not so good side.”
“Did he ever try to come on to you?”
She laughed out loud “No... apart from that minor comment with joining him and Victoria. Honestly, Eric, it was never like that. He is my boss, and yes, now we run the same social circle but I love my job and love his intelligence. I have learnt so much from him. That is all. Now get your mind out of the gutter and let’s order because I’m hank marvin.”
“Hank marvin? What the hell is that?” I needed a translator for Kate, but enjoyed the new catch-phrases.
“Derr, starving!”
…
Monday morning rolled around faster than you could say ‘Doggy Style’. Fuck I needed to get laid. It was exactly 8:30 and I had everything prepared for our 9am meeting. Coffee was brewed; an assortment of breakfast pastries was centered on the large meeting table. The projector was ready as Nikki was going to present an update on a case the firm had been tangled in. At 8:50 on the dot, Emma walked in.
“Hey Chica, what’s happening?”
“Nothing,” she answered quietly.
Huh, odd. She bowed her head, pretending to me immersed in her paperwork.
“Spill.”
“Spill what?”
“Why you acting all ‘something up my puss’?”