Deber was relentless, but even out there on the deserted streets, soaked to the bone, I knew there was no going back to my little life. I wasn’t the same person I was ten days ago. I didn’t know who I was. Lost in a kind of purgatory with no idea what lay ahead. The pride of giving my presentation had already drained out and all I wanted was to get to my place, take a hot shower, and dive into a romance novel. Because I enjoyed reading them.
There didn’t need to be any other reason.
My head full of these thoughts, I stepped off the curb.
Too late, I saw the splash of headlights against the rain-washed street.
Too late, I heard the horn and the screech of tires that weren’t going to catch in time on the slick pavement.
I exhaled my last breath. “Casziel…”
A heavy weight crashed into me, tackling me from the side, and I was flying. I felt the wind of the truck at my ankles while staring into black eyes. Strong arms—and wings—were wrapped around me. Cas twisted midair and hit the ground on his back, cradling me and taking the brunt of the hit. He rolled so my back was on the asphalt, and his immense body was shielding me from the rain. From the world.
I stared into his face—bloodless white with black pits for eyes. The cold dread emanating from them was defeated by the love in my heart that swelled until I thought it would burst.
Because he’s mine and I’m his. Always.
I traced the line of his jaw, the rainwater running in rivulets down the sharp contours of his cheekbones, off his full lips.
“Li’ili,” he said, his voice gruff.
I cupped his face in both hands. I was staring too long; his eyes were drawing me down, but I couldn’t look away. Not yet.
“Say it,” I whispered just as the dark consumed me.
“My wife…”
Twenty-One
The apartment was dark, and the storm raged outside the windows. I sat up in my bed, shivering in damp clothes. Casziel was at the window, hard and still. A statue in the dark, standing guard. His vigilance was written in every tense line of his body. Lightning flashed, illuminating his sleek, black wings.
“Casziel,” I said softly.
His shoulders hunched, wings lifting slightly. “Ashtaroth is getting bold. I won’t let him hurt you, Lucy.” He scoffed. “More than he has.”
“He possessed Guy,” I said, slipping off the bed. “To ask me to go to Sri Lanka. Why would he do that?”
Casziel’s jaw tightened. “To drive you blindly into a street in a rainstorm, hopeless and alone. To lure you with all the same fiendish promises he made me.” He turned his black gaze to me. “He was waiting for you on the Other Side, Lucy, ready to catch you as you fell.”
“You did your part to make me feel hopeless,” I said, moving closer. “What you said at the wedding…”
He flinched as if I’d whipped him, his voice ragged. “Gods, forgive me, Lucy. It broke my soul to wound you. Ashtaroth wants you any way he can have you. I was terrified you’d make an unspeakable bargain. For me.”
A small cry choked out of me as Casziel whirled with sudden fury, his wings flaring like night and his eyes emanating cold. He gripped my shoulders, fingers digging in. “You must not listen to him, Lucy. There is nothing you can do. No bargain you can make. You can’t save me. Do you understand? You cannot save me.”
The sucking pull of his black gaze was making me weak. My lips parted but no sound came out but a little whimper. He let me go with a curse and then turned away, crossing his arms tight as if to keep from touching me.
“So that’s it?” I asked, hugging my elbows. “In a few hours it’s just…over?”
Tears of frustration threatened. Worse than frustration. I was losing him. The minutes were ticking away, his departure yawning like a black chasm, and I was falling in.
“What about all that stuff with Guy?” I demanded. “More lies? If it can’t save you, what was it all for?”
“For you, Lucy. Your happiness. That was no lie. I want your happiness more than I want my next breath. But your kindness was an obstacle. The only way to help you was to let you think you were helping me.”
“So you tried to pawn me off on another man? I don’t want to love someone else. I can’t.”
“But you have to.”