Fix Me

I grabbed my keys and walked out of the cottage, going out the side entrance and avoiding the house altogether. I wasn’t sure where to go because I wasn’t interested in hanging out with Austin on his boat or at his house. Mostly, I just wanted to be alone with my thoughts. I wanted to put all the things I was feeling into a little box to be tucked away and visited another day.

Soon, I found myself at the beach where Bree and I used to hang out. She had not been up for going to the beach in more than a week and I found that I missed it a great deal. It was our spot. I pulled the blanket from my trunk and walked down to the beach. I spread out the blanket in the same spot Bree and I usually parked in. It was off the beaten path and there was a stand of bushes that provided a modicum of privacy.

I stretched out, my sunglasses on my face as I stared up at the bright sun. I let it warm me as I listened to the waves and the birds. Closing my eyes, I let myself fall into the world Bree lived in. There was a quiet peacefulness to it all. I certainly wouldn’t want to stay in the dark permanently, but there was a certain romance to the idea.

My peaceful reflection was interrupted by the phone vibrating in my pocket. I sighed and thought about ignoring it, but the idea that it could be Bree needing me made me look at the screen. I stared at the readout. At first, I was confused and then scared.

“Mel?” I answered. “Is everything okay?”

“Yes. Well, no, but you know that. Where are you?”

“Why?” I asked sitting up on alert.

“Because I’m knocking on your door and you aren’t answering. I’m giving you the benefit of the doubt and assuming you aren’t inside ignoring me.”

I sighed. “No, I’m not there.”

“Where are you? We need to talk, and I’m not interested in doing it over the phone.”

I winced. She sounded pissed. I had a feeling Paul had informed her of me putting in my notice. She was going to tell me what a dick I was for leaving Bree when she needed me most. I deserved the lecture. “I’m at the beach,” I confessed.

“Where?”

I told her where to find me and slid the phone back into my pocket. I figured I better enjoy the next thirty minutes because after Mel was done with me, my peaceful day would be over. I settled in and waited.

“Luke?” I heard Mel’s voice and realized she couldn’t see me.

I sat up and waved. “Over here.”

She came towards me, wearing a pair of jean shorts that showed off her long legs. She flopped down on the blanket and looked towards the water. “It’s nice out here.”

“It is.”

I waited for her to get to what she had to say. She didn’t make me wait long. “What’s going on? Why aren’t you with Bree?”

“I’m off today.”

“Bullshit. I know it’s more than that.”

“Paul felt it would be better if I stayed away for the weekend.”

“Because,” she said, dragging out the word.

“Because I told him I thought it might be a good idea for me to start looking for a different job,” I said.

She nodded. I had a feeling she already knew that but wanted to hear me say it. “Why would you quit now? You saw her, she’s in bad shape. She doesn’t only need you as her caregiver, she needs you as a friend. As a boyfriend. I know you guys are on this break thing, but this is not the time to split hairs about what you are calling your relationship.”

“Mel, I’m not good for her.”

“You are good for her. She was so happy there for a week or two. It was like having my old friend back, even if she kind of ghosted me while the two of you snuggled up.”

I had to laugh at that, since I had completely dominated Bree’s time. It was our honeymoon phase. Then reality set in and I came to my senses. “I love her,” I said.

“I know that, Luke, which is why I am so confused about why you are running away from her.”

“Because I can’t be with someone in her condition.”

“Blind? Because if you say yes, I’m going to kick your ass.”