The Lesbian Sex Haiku Book (With Cats!)

RENT OR ATTENTION!!!!!

Don’t feel blue, feel indigo!!!!

Want a “love that’s true”?

Shall we “multiply life by

the Power of Two”?!?!!

Protest the inaccurate portrayal of snakes as villains and cruel beings in the media!!!

Snakes are creatures that

deserve our ssssympathy!! Join

the causssssse Augussst 3!

RE: Butch tenors and altos sought!! (REVISED)

Ad was not for sex!!!

Stop sending me pics of your

“classically trained” “flute”!!

I can’t assemble this fucking IKEA bedframe

Me: Have Allen wrench,

won’t travel. You: Can decode

wordless instructions.

HOW TO PROPOSITION SOMEONE WHILE PLAYING ONLINE SCRABBLE

Play “qiviut,” the

word for musk ox undercoat.

Ladies love musk ox!

’Tis better to have

loved and lost to you at Scrab—

WAIT, NO, IT ISN’T.

F U—the game I

wanna play is called Words With

Friends With Benefits.

PERFECTLY VALID EXCUSES A LESBIAN MIGHT USE TO TURN YOU DOWN FOR A DATE

Cosmic omens

I would date you, but