The Lesbian Sex Haiku Book (With Cats!)

It can’t be done. You’re

welcome to try again next

year, if you insist.

Tell her that you loved

the Star Wars prequels more than

the originals.

Set aside tissue

boxes, and the next thirty-

four years of your life.

Wars are fought over

who gets to keep the tribal

pantsuit in the split.

It’s been six months. You

finally feel close to defining

your “boundaries.”

Been single four months

now. Ate croutons for dinner.

There’s no connection.

I can’t date you, but

here’s a Spotify playlist

about how I feel.

She has a new girl,

a house, stability. I

have Facebook comments.

A LINE OF LESBIAN-THEMED GREETING CARDS FOR EXES

To the ex who defriended you on Facebook because you disagreed about the dimensionality of the female characters in The Great Gatsby

I forgive you for

being wrong about everything

(and dumping me).

To your ex whom you’re still sleeping with