The Lesbian Sex Haiku Book (With Cats!)

“Processing” with you

is my favorite kind of

aerobic workout.

To the ex you haven’t seen in a long time but still entertain thoughts of sleeping with

I’d love to get back

in touch. Specifically

with your genitals.

To the ex you’ll soon date again

This time I mean it!

It’s over. We’re through. What are

you doing Thursday?

HOW TO LET A QUEER GIRL DOWN GENTLY

I would invite you

up, but I still share a bed

with my ex-girlfriend.

I must tend to my

succulents, flying squirrel,

and hemp marinade.

I can’t date you, but

here’s how you can degrease your

hair with raw cacao.

Past-life regression

coach says that I’m not ready

to date in this life.

I said I’d perform

long-distance Reiki on my

ex-girlfriend’s sick cat.

HOW TO PISS OFF AN EX INDEFINITELY

It pains me to say

it, but your mother was right