Nothing Left to Lose (Guarded Hearts 1)

She chuckled. “You told me, remember? When we were at my parents’ house, when you first started,” she explained, shrugging and leaning away from me. My stomach clenched as it always did when she was about to move away from me. I reached out and put my hand on the small of her back so I could savour the last touch before she got dressed and we were back to just being bodyguard and client. When we were all cuddled up in bed, I liked to believe we were more than that.

Instead of getting out of the bed though, she reached into her bedside cabinet and pulled out an envelope with her name on the front, but I noticed that it was addressed to next door, to Dean and Peter’s apartment.

She sat crossed-legged on the bed and held the envelope out to me, grinning wildly. I smiled. Anna liked to do things for me; even just little things like making my favourite food seemed to make her happy. I loved it when she smiled.

“Here.” She bit on her lip like she always did when she was excited.

Seeing her lip in her teeth like that made my mouth water. I wanted to bite her lip like that. Thoughts of her lip between my teeth and her tongue in my mouth started to play out in my mind. I felt a stir in my boxers, so I quickly looked away from her, taking a deep breath and forcing myself to think of other things.

I took the envelope from her hand and frowned uncomfortably. This was my first birthday present since my parents had died over eleven years ago and I didn’t really know how to deal with it. “Baby Girl, you shouldn’t keep buying me things.”

She didn’t need to spend money on me; to be honest, the best thing she could give me, she gave me every day – just a smile, a laugh, and her time. All I ever wanted was just to be with her. It almost killed me just to be her friend, but that was what she wanted and needed, so I tried my hardest every day to make her happy. She was everything that was good in my world, the most important and precious thing in my life, and I would always love her, even if she couldn’t feel the same about me.

“I like to buy you things. Now, will you just open it before I do?” she cried, practically bouncing on the bed with excitement.

I laughed and opened the envelope, pulling out a sheet of paper. It was an itinerary for tomorrow. I frowned, confused because we didn’t have any plans for tomorrow. I scanned the details quickly. At eight in the morning we were to be at the airport, ready to fly to her parents’ house on the lake. Apparently a helicopter would meet us at the airport, transfer us to the Lake House, where I would deliver the jewel. The helicopter would then take me back to the airport in time for flights to LA.

My mouth was dry. “What’s this?” I asked, not liking the sound of delivering the jewel and then leaving without her.

She laughed happily. “I got you the weekend off and booked you flights to go home for the weekend so you can spend your birthday with your friends!” she chirped, her eyes dancing with delight.

No. Fucking. Way!

“Anna, what?” I gasped, reading over the paper again. Apparently I was to deliver her to her parents, then fly to LA. She’d booked a rental car too for me to pick up at the airport that I would use all weekend. On Monday morning I had flights to go back to the Lake House to pick her up again and escort her back to college.

“I’m going home for the weekend, and you, Dean and Peter get the weekend off. The only trouble is that you’ll be travelling most of Friday and Monday because they’re being all pathetic and won’t let me fly on my own, I’m sorry,” she said, frowning angrily.

She’s planned for me to spend the whole weekend without her? No way, I’m not doing that! “You want to go home and send me off for the weekend?” I asked, shocked. I was actually a little hurt because she looked so happy about being away from me for the weekend. Does she not feel anything for me at all? I immediately mentally chastised myself for that thought. I knew she felt something for me, and that she was doing this for me. Maybe she didn’t realise that it would almost kill me to be away from her for that long. I couldn’t do it, not for a whole weekend. I physically didn’t think I was strong enough to be away from her, not just because I was desperately in love with her, but because I’d be worrying about her too damn much. What if something happened to her? What if that was the day they came for her, and I wasn’t there to protect her?

She cocked her head to the side, looking like a curious puppy. “Why are you not looking happy about this? I thought you’d want to see your friends for the weekend.” Her face fell, and I immediately felt terrible because I was obviously hurting her feelings.

I grabbed her and pulled her down next to me. “Baby Girl, this is really thoughtful of you, really, no one has ever done anything like this for me or put themselves out so much for me, and I love it, I do,” I started, unsure how to word it. I took a deep breath, composing my thoughts. “But I just can’t do that,” I added, looking at her intently.

Confusion crossed her face. “You can,” she insisted. “I’ve arranged everything; you just need to take me back to my parents first.”

I shook my head. “Anna, you’re not understanding me. I love the gift, but I can’t go. I can’t leave you,” I stated, willing her to understand and not be upset.

She rolled her eyes. “Pretty Boy, seriously, you worry about me too freaking much. There are over ten guards at my parents’ house, you know that. Plus, they have all the security on the house too. There’s nothing that can hurt me there,” she countered. “I promise I won’t sneak off without guards,” she said sarcastically. I smiled at her blatant lie. We both knew she would sneak out to see Jack; there was no way she’d take a guard there.