Until the Last Breath

“What?” I ask quickly.

“I don’t get it. I mean, have you looked in the mirror lately?”

“Yes. Plenty of times, asshole,” I counter.

“Well you must not see what I see then.”

I give him the stink-eye.

“Okay, fine.” He lifts his hands in the air in defense. “Yes, I can tell you’ve lost some weight and that your hair isn’t as thick as it was before. Your skin is paler too, but that doesn’t mean you aren’t still beautiful, Shannon.” I snatch my eyes from his, focusing on my melting ice-cream. “There have been some changes, but they were expected, so you can cut it out with calling yourself ugly, hideous, gross—whatever it is you call yourself these days. Trust me, you’re far from it.” I look up and his eyes shimmer in the sunlight, as brown as whiskey.

“Whatever, Maxi Pad.” I pick up my spoon and distract myself by finishing my ice cream.

I can still feel his eyes on me, roaming whatever’s left of my frail body. He still finds me attractive, and I can’t help but wonder how.

So, maybe I’m not completely hideous, but when a girl goes through such a dramatic change in such a short period of time, insecurities are bound to consume her.

“Do you wish he were here with you instead of me?” he asks.

I whip my head up, matching his stare. “W-what?”

“You heard me.”

My eyebrows draw together, and my heart beats a little faster. “Why would you ask me that question?”

“It’s just a question. You can be honest with me.” He passes a crooked smile, then turns to look ahead at the buildings across the street from us.

I study every feature of his face. “Max, I’m glad you’re here. Don’t ask me stuff like that. I—I can’t deal with that. Not right now.”

“Okay.” He holds his hands in the air. “You’re right. I shouldn’t be putting you in a position like that. I apologize.”

Relief washes through me.

“But you’re okay, though, right?”

I look up.

“I mean, I know you miss him, but you’re okay? You don’t feel too alone?”

“No.” I reach for his hand, squeezing it. “With you and Tess around, I’ll be okay until he gets back.”

He nods his head and looks down at our hands. I look too, then pull mine away quickly, picking up my spoon again.

“Tessa told me she’d be leaving in a few days,” he murmurs. She said you’ll be stuck here with a nurse you don’t even know.”

“Yeah? And?”

“And I don’t like the idea of that.”

“Well there’s not much you can do about it, Max. It’s already been planned, plus I can’t really go anywhere else.”

“Oh, I think I can do something.” Wiggling his eyebrows, he tilts his hips to pull out a sheet of paper from his back pocket, then slams it on the table in front of me. He covers the words with his hands so I can’t see. “Now, before you look at what I’m about to show you, just promise me one thing?”

“What?”

“Promise me you’ll think about it first before giving me any kind of answer.”

I watch his face for a brief moment. He waits for me to promise, but I don’t because I have no clue what I’m promising him. Max was always that way—making me promise to surprises that I often times didn’t care for.

Knowing I won’t respond right away, he uncovers the paper and I snatch it up, reading over it. My heart pounds when I read over the words—I can hear the beat of it in my ears now.

Shifting my eyes up to his, I start to speak, but really, what can I say? “Max…I—what is—” I can’t even finish my sentence. I’m too focused on the words printed on the piece of paper in my hands. “You got flight tickets to Paris?”

He shrugs as if it’s no big deal. “I told you I would take you one day.”

“Max—I mean, this is incredible, believe me, but even if I wanted to go, how could I? This is hours away. John would never approve and I’m sure Dr. Barad wouldn’t even give me the green light to go.” I hand the tickets back to him.

“I talked to Dr. Barad the day I took you to the park,” he says. “Caught him right before he left your place and asked about it. He knows there is a risk, but he didn’t exactly say no. He thinks it’s a good idea to take you somewhere as a final escape. He said you have at least three more months in you, maybe longer if the treatment continues to work.”

I light up at his response.

“I didn’t reach out to you much the past week because for one, Tessa told me to back off.” He rolls his eyes playfully and I laugh. “But also because I was keeping in touch with Dr. Barad. He did some checkups on you, told me you were stable enough. He recommended a doctor that he knows in Paris that can send updates—one that you can see daily while we’re there. Gave me all of her information and told me as long as you’re in first class and you take your OPX tank thingy, you should be okay.”