I believed him. I nodded frantically, picturing the skill in my head. Once in a handstand, I looked for his hands to spot me and when it came time to release again, I arched my back and tapped my feet hard. I released the bar and flipped forward into a pike position. Spotting the bar,
I reached for it as if I was about to fall a hundred feet to the ground and gripped it tight. Coach kept his word and heavily spotted by flattening his hand right under my chest and on my back.
He had me.
I followed through with an easy kip and rested on the bar. My heart was racing, adrenaline pouring through my veins as I caught my breath. I looked at him and smiled brightly.
“Again.” He tapped the back of my thigh.
He didn’t even give me thirty seconds before I was back up. My nerves were shot and only by some miracle did I catch the bar thereafter. I lost count of the number of times I practiced the Jaeger after the initial one. Even with my grips, my palms were on fire, but I blocked out the agonizing pain. My shoulders felt like Jell-O. With each release, the fear dissolved a little more. But it never disappeared. Kova was right about fear, it kept me alive and motivated. Otherwise, I’d lose the thrill of the sport to keep going. He gave me self-belief with his firm touch, the courage to keep going. It was a coach wanting to see his athlete succeed and nothing more.
He ordered one more Jaeger where he said he would spot me, only he didn’t. He only stood there to give me piece of mind. I should have expected this, but I was so lost in the moment I didn’t.
Panting and out of breath, I bent over the high bar and breathed the chalky air heavily into my lungs.
“Get your stuff and go. Skip tomorrow’s practice and do not question my authority.” Flipping down, confidence roared through me. Normally I’d be upset over skipping practice, but ending it the way I did made me feel the complete opposite.
I smiled to myself, unwinding my grips and removing my wristbands. I felt good about the Jaegers, about how Kova pushed me to redo them. Had he not, there would be a chance I’d fear them the next time. This practice had started out good, moved to shit, and quickly into a disaster, and then actually ended on a good note for the most part.
I was bent down and shuffling through my bag when Kova strode back over. Standing up, I threw the duffle over my shoulder and looked at his hard face.
His voice was low, only for me to hear. “If you ever perform in the way you just did again, you will be kicked out of here so fast your head will spin. I do not give a shit who your father is. It was reckless and stupid and I never want to see it again.”
And then he walked away.
It’d been a couple of days since the Jaeger fiasco. I tried not to dwell on it since the past couldn’t be changed and nothing good could come from constantly thinking about it. Instead, I blocked it out as much as possible and kept training in the forefront of my mind.
I busied myself and caught up on my homework. I even studied the material I’d be going over with my tutors the next couple of days. When I was done with the boring math I’d never use again in my life, I cleaned and did things around my condo so my mind didn’t wander. I went to therapy for my Achilles, and then decided to get take out, something I never did.
The Penne a la Vodka was orgasmic. Too bad I couldn’t eat it every day. However, considering it was Thanksgiving weekend and I wasn’t with my family, I splurged. Not going home for this holiday wasn’t a big deal for me. I’d go home for Christmas, though.
Yawning, I closed my chemistry book shut and dropped it on the couch. My eyes were puffy and swollen, and my hair was damp from the shower I took an hour ago. Relaxed with a full belly, I was ready to cuddle up in bed.
I didn’t know what to do, and I had no one to talk to about it. I didn’t want to tell Avery I had sex with Kova because I didn’t want her to judge me. Not that she would, but after the talk I had with her and how she insisted Kova and I stop, I had a gut feeling she would be disappointed. When the time was right I’d tell her. Until then, it was better this way.
Looking through the sliding glass door, I gazed into the pitch-black sky thinking about what the future held, where I would be a year from now gymnastics wise. The moon hung high and I stared at it when I heard a light knock at my door.
Standing up, I walked across the plush carpet and stood on my tiptoes to peek through the peephole. Taking a deep breath, I unlocked the door and opened it.
All the air left my lungs. God, he was so fucking gorgeous.
He had one arm propped up against the wall as he leaned down and stared at me. His piercing green eyes peaked out from under his thick, black eyelashes, and he had more facial hair than I’d ever seen him with before. It worked in his favor and I wished he’d grow in more. He scanned the length of my body with his heady gaze until our eyes locked again. It seemed every time he stopped by my condo, my outfit was the same—panties and a shirt. In my defense, I wasn’t planning on having company.
Kova dropped his arm and sauntered in past me. My heart leaped into my throat and I could feel my body simmering when I got a drift of his clean scent mixed with cologne. He smelled divine. I had a gut feeling he was here to yell at me, and luckily after a few days alone, I had everything planned I wanted to say.
Pushing back the hood of his jacket, I watched Kova unzip it and then remove it. He shook out his tight arms. Fury thickened the air, my heart catapulting in my chest. He was wearing distressed dark jeans and a tight black shirt. Dropping his jacket on the high back chair, Kova stalked toward me. A crease formed between my eyes at his harsh demeanor and I swallowed back the knot in my throat. He stepped toward me and followed me into the kitchen. My heart was wild with anxiety when I felt my back against the wall.
“Are you fucking crazy?” He gritted between clenched teeth. He got right to the point. “Is there something wrong with you?”
“You really had no idea?” I countered.
He snapped his neck to the side like he was cracking it, never leaving my gaze. “You were a virgin, a fucking virgin. And you let me fuck you the way I did? Let me touch you like that?”
My face scrunched up. He said virgin with a tone of repugnance and it hurt my stomach.
“I didn’t let you do anything, you wanted it. We both wanted it, plain and simple. Okay—Maybe I did push you a little too far, but what’s the difference, anyway?”
“The difference is you were a virgin, Adrianna. That is the difference. Are you not following the conversation?”