Luca spotted her about the same time as I did, and his eyes didn’t move on from her. Was that how he wanted to punish me?
“He wouldn’t dare,” Gianna hissed.
Matteo’s reply came through the fog in my ears. “He won’t.”
Grace stepped up to Luca with a sexy smile, and Luca smirked. I remembered that look from the photos I’d seen of him in his bachelor days—like a man who knew what he had to offer and who took what women offered him.
My stomach constricted so hard, sickness washed over me. I turned on my heel and hurried into the bathroom at the end of the corridor. I barely managed to close the door and reach the toilet before I threw up, retching violently until nothing was left in my stomach. Beads of sweat coated my forehead. I reached for the flush with trembling fingers.
Gianna’s soft knock sounded a few moments later. “Aria, let me in.”
I faced the mirror and touched my stomach.
“Aria, please let me help you.”
She couldn’t help me. This was a battle I had to fight alone because it was a fight against my heart.
Luca’s words from weeks ago flashed in my mind: We are done.
Yes, we were.LUCAGrace circled me like a vulture. She’d married some old fucker with millions in his bank account, but now she eye-fucked me like she’d done in the past.
“Have you gotten bored of your wife already? I told you she couldn’t satisfy you.”
“Don’t talk about her,” I said in warning. She seemed to have forgotten my warning from last time.
Matteo raised his eyebrows at me from across the room. I didn’t see Aria or Gianna anywhere, and I was fucking glad. Aria in that almost white dress, like a fucking apparition, a fucking angel.
A weakness.
“I’m not here to talk, don’t worry,” she purred. My eyes were drawn to her cleavage.
“What are you here for then?” I asked with a curl of my lip.
“To fuck.” She smiled. “Come on, Luca.”
I followed a few steps behind her, my eyes on her ass in that joke of a jumpsuit. She led me into her old bedroom, a room I had good memories of.
Grace closed the door and turned to me, licking her red lips. “Oh, I missed having your cock in me, Luca,” she crooned as she stepped up to me and leaned in to kiss me.
“No kissing,” I growled, glaring down at her. She pouted but didn’t try again. I had never liked kissing her, now less than ever.
Her long nails raked down my chest, then lower. I had to fight the urge to shove her hand away. I wasn’t hard yet, not even close. Her touch actually fucking disgusted me.
Confusion flickered on her face, then a daring smile. “Playing hard to get?”
“One of us has to,” I muttered, hating her and hating myself.
She flushed but didn’t let my harshness deter her. She got on her knees, making an innocent face. It looked fucking fake. And it had the opposite effect on me than she intended. I remembered Aria’s innocent smiles, her innocent touches as I’d made her mine.
Aria.
Fuck.
Always Aria.
Then I remembered the last time she’d taken me into her mouth, her perfect lips, her teasing. I loved how she’d grown more confident when it came to sex over the years. I loved her scent, her taste, her silky skin. Fuck it. I fucking loved everything about her, loved her still. Loved every fucking inch of her, but most of all her laughter and smiles, and the way she looked at me with love and trust.
I staggered back from Grace’s fingers on my zipper. She dropped her hand, eyes narrowing.
“What now? Don’t tell me you can’t cheat on your goody-two-shoes Aria.”
I grasped her arm in a death grip. “Don’t you dare insult her. Don’t even speak her name.” I pushed her away from me, so fucking furious I could hardly control myself. Furious at myself for my weakness, for my useless feelings. Then I turned around and went back to the party.
Matteo was at my side in a heartbeat. “That was a quickie if I ever saw one.” His voice was strange but I had no patience to analyze his mood.
“I couldn’t do it. Couldn’t even let her suck my cock. Fuck it.” What the fuck had I become?
“Because of Aria.”
I curled my hands into fists, wanting to destroy something, wanting to kill and maim. “I’m fucking weak,” I said quietly.
“Weak?” Matteo laughed. “Luca, you killed a clubhouse full of bikers, tore them to shreds, you tortured our uncle for hours without batting an eye, and you wouldn’t feel a flicker of remorse if you killed every fucker in this room. You aren’t weak because of your feelings for Aria. Our father was a sadistic asshole and insane.”
“I’m like a castrated dog.”
Matteo groaned, glaring. “You know Aria never cheated on you. That woman has always and will always belong only to you, Luca.”