I knew. My family was falling apart, and there was nothing I could do.
Apologize to Luca.
But I had already apologized, had begged him not to destroy our love, and he had pushed me away. Gianna’s voice tore me out of my thoughts.
“From what Matteo let slip, Luca is fucking worried. We all are, Aria. Why do you think Luca is suddenly spending half the week in the Hamptons? It’s because he wants to keep an eye on you. I don’t understand the asshole, but he obviously still cares for you in his own twisted way.”
I clenched my fingers. I’d noticed his increased presence but hadn’t dared hope it was because of me. I peered down at myself, at the almost unnoticeable swelling of my belly. How much longer would I be able to keep the pregnancy a secret? I didn’t want us to make up only because of the pregnancy. I wanted us to find our way back together on our own, because our love was strong enough to overcome anything. But eventually I wouldn’t be able to hide it anymore. I was in the twelfth week after all.
“Aria.” Gianna’s voice brought me back. Her face twisted with worry. “Please.”
I took a deep breath. “I’m pregnant.”
Gianna sat back, gaping. “Fuck.” She glanced down at my stomach. “How far along are you?”
“Twelfth week.”
Relief settled on her features. “So that’s why you are sick?”
I nodded. “I guess it’s my bad luck that the sickness didn’t stop yet,” I said with a small laugh.
“Bad luck my ass. You have the worst luck, getting yourself pregnant with Luca’s child.” She frowned. “I thought you were taking the pill.”
“I did. But when all the drama with Lily and Romero went down, I forgot occasionally. I didn’t want it to happen. Luca doesn’t want children at the moment.” Or ever.
Gianna leveled her gaze to my stomach and stretched out her arm but stopped a couple of inches away. “Can I touch it?”
I glanced around. We were alone. “Sure.”
She put her palm against my bump, and I relaxed under her touch.
“It’s still so small. Hard to believe that there is a tiny human inside.”
“I know,” I said, looking down at Gianna’s hand against my bump and wishing it was Luca’s hand. Tears gathered in my eyes.
“Oh, Aria,” Gianna murmured and pulled me into a hug. “I hate to see you like this.”
“I’m so lonely, Gianna. I miss him.”
“You see his angry face almost every fucking day, Aria.”
“I miss how he used to be with me. I miss his kisses and his touch, I miss his body beside me at night. I miss his love.” I swallowed. “I miss being held.”
Gianna patted her lap and I lowered my head in it, then she began running her fingers through my hair like she’d done when we were younger. I closed my eyes and allowed myself to relax under her touch. I still had my sisters and the baby in me. Their love would have to carry me from now on. Would it be enough? I wasn’t sure, but it would have to be. Gianna began to hum a soothing melody, and tears squeezed past my lashes. I fell in, humming a lullaby our mother had occasionally sung to us.
She fell silent and tensed under me when steps rang out, familiar steps.
I braced myself before I opened my eyes.
Luca and Matteo stood in the foyer, watching us. Luca’s face was an emotionless mask. He kept me out as he had in the last few weeks. I lifted my head from Gianna’s legs, suppressing the urge to touch my belly as I straightened. “Excuse me,” I said to Gianna and rose to my feet, then walked upstairs. Luca didn’t follow. He never did anymore.LUCAA low humming sound greeted us as Matteo and I entered the mansion. We followed the sound into the open living area, and my chest tightened at the sight before us. Aria lay curled up on the sofa, head in her sister’s lap, as Gianna stroked her blonde hair. Aria was crying, eyes closed, tears trailing down perfect but too pale cheeks. So fucking pale.
Gianna froze, her gaze hardening as it settled on me. She didn’t bother hiding her contempt. I didn’t give a fuck, but seeing Aria like this, that got to me. Slowly she opened those stunning blue eyes, and as they met my gaze, hurt and despair filled them. Fuck. It was like a knife to the stomach. It was worse than that.
She sat up but her movements were off, as if she wasn’t sure of her body anymore, as if something was holding her back. I couldn’t say what it was, had no way of reading her because she lowered her head as she hurried past me and upstairs. She avoided me, and most of the time I was relieved because it made things easier, made it easier to ignore her, made it easier to forget the feelings only she could evoke.