When she’d broken down in the kitchen a few days back, I’d thought I’d lose it, and then when she’d gone down to her knees, looking small and hopeless, I’d wanted to crush her to my chest. She didn’t belong on her knees, she wasn’t supposed to look broken. She was a fucking queen among rats.
Whenever she was around, when I was forced to look into her face, I had a hard time holding back the apology that threatened to burst out of me. She had been the one who’d betrayed me in the first place, not in the way I’d accused her of, but a betrayal nevertheless. Three times she’d gone behind my back for her siblings.
Gianna jumped up from the couch and stormed toward me.
“What now?” Matteo asked her with raised hands, but she ignored him and shoved me hard. I narrowed my eyes as I looked down at her, not budging despite her vehemence. Her hands curled to fists and I could tell she had half a mind of hitting me.
Matteo must have seen it too because he gripped her wrist and muttered, “Gianna, get a grip.”
“Get a grip? He’s the one who needs to get a grip.” She shook him off and scowled back up at me. “Can’t you pull your head out of your ass for one fucking second and apologize to Aria, you stupid asshole? You are destroying everything.”
I had grown used to her insults. She had enough self-preservation to reserve them for when we were among family, and she knew I tolerated her disrespect because of Matteo, and Aria. “Apologize?” I asked in a low voice, sending her a scowl in return, but she didn’t back down.
“Yes, apologize. You know she didn’t cheat on you, and you treated her like dirt. You still do.”
“I don’t treat her like dirt.”
I knew Aria hadn’t cheated, but the fact remained that she had gone against me. She had taken money from the Famiglia bank account. She had gone to Chicago in a time of war, had let herself get captured by Dante. If he hadn’t used her to make me lose my mind, she’d still be in his hands, and woman or not, we were at war.
Gianna shook her head, disgusted. It was a look I was used to from her. “She’s fading every day, don’t you see? Is your pride worth losing the one person who doesn’t think you’re a psychotic serial killer?”
I’d seen that Aria had lost weight, but it wasn’t anywhere close to being dangerous yet. I’d asked the Doc. He had assured me that she looked healthy enough, even if he hadn’t examined her in a while because she didn’t want him to.
“I am a killer,” I said simply.
“He is,” Matteo said with a shrug, then he added in an attempt to lighten the mood, “Whether psychotic or sociopathic, that’s definitely up for debate.”
Gianna shook her head, then she whirled around and stomped off.
Matteo sighed and ran a hand through his hair. “Your problems with Aria are making my life hell, too. I’m barely getting sex anymore, not even angry sex, and Gianna is the best at angry sex, let me tell you.”
I didn’t doubt it. That woman harbored the fury of fifty hungry wildcats. She was completely intolerable, so unlike her sister. Aria hated arguments, tried to keep people together with her beautiful smile and kind words.
Fuck. The slow smile that began with a soft curl at the corners of that perfect mouth, then spread until it broke across her entire face, wide and stunning.
A fucking hole gaped in my stomach whenever I remembered her smile. She hadn’t smiled in a while.
Matteo watched me silently with a too-knowing expression. “Perhaps Aria started the mess but you will be the one to end it, Luca.”
“I won’t apologize.”
“Fine, but I’m so fucking tired of the tense mood that’s been dragging us down. Not just you and Aria, but Gianna and Liliana, and me and Romero. It’s annoying as fuck, and it’s going to bring us all down. If you are certain that you won’t apologize to Aria for accusing her of cheating and for giving her the cold shoulder, then at least end it for good. You’ve changed so much already in the Famiglia. Make a difference and file for a divorce, then you can return to fucking your way through New York’s it-girls and Aria can find a nice guy to marry.”
“No!” I growled. “Aria is mine. I’ll kill every fucker who dares to touch her. There won’t be a fucking divorce. Ever. And I don’t want to fuck anyone…”
“But her,” Matteo finished. He shrugged. “Then your balls are going to turn blue and fall off, because I don’t think Aria will make the first move again.”chapter 22ARIAIt was already late in the morning. I hadn’t slept most of the night because I’d felt sick but also too exhausted to get out of bed. Turning around, my eyes found the empty space beside me in bed. My fingers traced the soft fabric. I still fell asleep on my side of the bed and always woke half on Luca’s empty one, as if my body tried to seek him out at night. Eight weeks of lonely nights.