Sofia stopped beside me and Samuel, looking down at Greta sleeping soundly in the carrier. I’d noticed that Samuel had insisted on carrying Greta, not Nevio, but I tried not to put too much meaning into it. Sofia hadn’t been allowed in the hospital because we didn’t want to draw too much attention to us, and her eyes were wide in surprise.
“Wow,” she breathed. “I’ve never seen hair that black.”
She’d never seen Remo.
Anna nodded as she lightly brushed a finger over Nevio’s head. His eyes peeled open and as always when they did, my breath lodged in my throat. Dark eyes. Remo’s eyes. Even at two days old, my boy was his father.
Dad averted his eyes, brows pulling tight, and looked at Dante with an expression that tore me cleanly in half.
Valentina squeezed my shoulder and leaned in. “It takes time, Serafina. Give them time. One day they will see your babies as what they are: only yours.”
I nodded, but deep down I knew Greta and Nevio would never only be mine because they were also Remo’s, and nothing could change that. And I didn’t want it to.
The next day, I was cradling Greta in my arm while Nevio rested on the sofa beside me, deep asleep when Dante came in. He strode toward us, his eyes flickering over my children. His expression didn’t give anything away, and I wondered if it was because he didn’t resent my twins like everyone else or if he was too good at hiding his true feelings.
He sank down in the armchair across from me, opening his jacket so it didn’t wrinkle. He gave me a tense smile. “How are you?”
I stroked Greta’s cheek before I looked up again. “Good.”
He nodded. “I know things aren’t easy for you, Serafina. It was never meant to be like this. I’ve wanted to talk to you for a while …” He trailed off, his expression tightening. “But I’m not in the habit of justifying my actions, nor apologizing.”
I frowned. “You are Capo.”
“I am, but that doesn’t make me infallible.” He paused. “I think you should know that when Remo kidnapped you, your father would have handed over his territory to save you. I didn’t allow it. And Samuel attacked the mansion without my permission because I wouldn’t have allowed it. I’m not a man who answers to another’s demands. I refuse to be blackmailed. I have to think of the Outfit.”
“I know and I understand, Uncle.” Then I paused. “But in the end you gave Scuderi to Remo.”
Something dark and furious flashed in Dante’s eyes. “I did. Because I’m not only Capo. I’m a father. I’m your uncle. This is my family, and I owe it protection. I owed you protection and I failed.” He lowered his gaze to my children. “You’ll have to live with the consequences of my decisions.”
I shook my head. “Those decisions gave me my children, and that’s not something I could ever regret.”
Dante got up and touched my shoulder. Then he traced his index finger over Greta’s head before he turned. Like Samuel and Dad, he had a harder time looking at Nevio than at my daughter. I peered down at my son and took his little hand in mine, and not for the first time I wondered what Remo would see when he saw them.
A high pitched wail sounded.
Samuel and I jerked up at the same time from where we’d fallen asleep on the sofa in the nursery. We didn’t bother going into our beds most of the time because Nevio and Greta woke every two hours. He and Mom took turns helping me, and during the day Sofia changed diapers and helped feed them as well. I couldn’t remember the last time I’d slept more than two hours in the last six months.
Samuel rubbed his face. I knew he didn’t sleep much on the nights he wasn’t helping either. The Outfit was planning something. He had only hinted to it, but it could only be an attack on the Camorra. It scared me, terrified me because I wasn’t only scared for Samuel and Dad but also for the man I couldn’t forget.
I stood and so did Samuel. He reached for Greta like usual and I took Nevio. This was our routine, one I didn’t question anymore. I was glad for Samuel’s support, even if he couldn’t bear being near my son.
Thirty minutes later, Samuel and I sat shoulder to shoulder, Greta sound asleep in his arm and Nevio wide awake in mine. He snatched at my hair and yanked. I loosened his hold, wincing, and pushed the strand out of reach. Nevio let out a happy yowl, eyes zooming in on Samuel.
I followed his gaze. My brother sighed and put his head back. “Don’t give me that look, Fina.”
“What look?”
“Like I’m breaking your heart.”