“I’ll go with you,” he said.
“No,” she said quickly. “I need a few moments to myself.”
“Are you sure you should drive?” he asked.
She nodded. “Yes. I’ll be fine. I just need some air,” she said and lifted her hands for the keys.
He pressed them into her palm and watched her walk out of the door. He couldn’t help wondering if he’d just lost his last chance with the only woman who’d ever made him feel like he’d found home just by holding her in his arms.
Nicole wanted to take Joel and run. Driving to pick him up at preschool, she felt as if she’d been punched.
The deal with the Greek shipping company. When had that really happened? Had she blown her father’s deal by unwittingly giving information to Rafe? Even though she wanted distance from her father, she wished him no ill will.
Her father’s worst accusation was that she was a fill-in for Tabitha. In other circumstances, she could have stood it. After all, she’d spent most of her life in the shadow of her sister. But now, now she wanted Rafe to see her, to want her, to love her.
Her breath stopped in her throat. Even though he was the strongest man she’d ever met, she wanted to make him feel safe. She wanted to make his secret wishes come true. She wanted him to feel her love. And she wanted to feel loved by him.
Panic coursed through her. What an idiot, she thought, pulling into a parking spot at the preschool. Rafe had made it clear that love wasn’t part of the bargain.
An hour and a half later, Rafe was swearing as he paced his downstairs office. With the exception of the tragedy of his father’s death and mother’s subsequent decline, he’d felt as if he’d usually held the lucky side of the coin. Not with love, of course, but with business. Today, he felt as if the bad luck gods had decided to pummel him. First the incident with Maddie, then Nicole’s father. He rubbed his hand across his face as he paced and swore under his breath. How in the world could he make this right for Nicole? How could he make her believe what she meant to him?.
Nicole and Joel had become as vital to him as his heart and lungs. The reality of their importance took his breath away.
“Mr. Medici,” Carol said, holding a manila envelope in her hands. “I apologize for the interruption.”
Rafe glanced up at his longtime housekeeper. “Yes?”
“Unfortunately, my new housekeeping assistant broke a vase of flowers in Mrs. Medici’s bedroom. Her previous bedroom, that is. The water spilled into the drawer all over this envelope. I wasn’t sure if it was important.” She extended the envelope toward him and he took it.
“Thank you. I’ll look it over.” He opened the envelope and pulled out the printed copy of the investigator’s report on him, along with two passports. Frowning, he flipped each open, seeing first a photo of Nicole, then one of Joel. Flipping through the papers, he stopped cold when he saw a listing of international flight departures from Miami and requirements for taking a minor out of the country.
Rafe felt as if he’d been stabbed in the heart.
Nicole had been planning to take Joel away.
From his office, he heard the front door burst open.
“Daddy!” Joel called.
His son’s voice twisted his gut. “In here,” he said, keeping his own voice level for the sake of Joel.
Nicole and Joel walked inside, chomping down the remnants of ice cream cones. Nicole offered him a cup of ice cream. Rafe was so furious he could have melted the frozen treat just by looking at it. They’d been eating ice cream when he’d been sweating blood.
He put his hands on his h*ps and looked at both of them. “Someone’s been having fun.”
Lifting her shoulders, Nicole smiled vaguely. “It seemed like a good day for ice cream.”
Joel gave a big nod. “Every day is a good day for ice cream. I petted a turtle.”
“Yeah?” Rafe said, focusing on his son. “What did you think of him?”
“He was cool, but I’d rather have a gerbil. That’s what we get to pet next week.”
Rafe raised his eyebrows. “Really? You’ll have to tell us about that. What do you want to do now, buddy? Swim?”
“I wanna do more than dog paddle.”
“That’s my boy. Go get your swim trunks on,” he said and Joel vanished upstairs. Rafe turned to Nicole. “You and I will talk later.”
Her smile fell and her face turned serious. “What do you mean?” she asked.
He pressed the manila envelope along with the papers into her hands. “I mean, you and I will be making new arrangements,” he said and left her as he went upstairs to change into his swim trunks. He left the small cup of ice cream untouched on his desk.
Nicole stared at the passports and flight plans and her stomach sank to her feet. A damning shame fell over her. After she’d left to pick up Joel, Rafe had probably wondered if she planned to take their son and flee the country. Swamped with remorse, she covered her face. She’d researched those flights just after she’d received the investigator’s report about Rafe. She’d put together those contingency plans weeks ago.
The more she’d learned about Rafe, the more certain she’d been that she couldn’t take his son from him. As Rafe and Joel grew closer, she knew it would also devastate her son. Despite all her doubts, she’d known she had to help Rafe become the father both he and Joel needed him to be.
Now Rafe was furious, and she didn’t know what she could do about it. How could she fix this?
Hours later, after he’d worn out Joel and the cook prepared pasta, Rafe and Nicole put Joel to bed. Leaving Joel’s room, Rafe shut the door behind him. “It’s time to talk,” he said and led the way downstairs.
Nicole’s stomach twisted into a dozen knots. How could she explain? Even if she could, how could he possibly believe?
As soon as they reached the den, he turned toward her. “When were you planning to take him?”
She bit her lip. “I know you won’t believe this, but taking Joel was just a back-up plan. I had to make sure you wouldn’t hurt him. Between what Tabitha had told me and the investigator’s report, I had to be ready to do whatever was necessary to keep Joel safe.”
He nodded, his eyes as cold as ice. “You’re right,” he said. “I don’t believe you. It’s too convenient. Since marrying me, you gained shared custody of Joel.”
“You have to remember that I had full custody before you showed up only a month ago,” she shot back.
“That was based on false pretenses,” he said. “Tabitha lied by not putting my name on the birth certificate and you were going to use that to your advantage.”
“Only if necessary,” Nicole said. “Only if you were abusive.”
His eyes turned black with anger. “But I never was,” he told her. “You can have the master bedroom. I’ll go back to the yacht.”
Her heart twisted in her chest. “No,” she said impulsively. “Keep your room. Joel needs to see you as much as possible. I’ll move back into my old room.”
Rafe paused then nodded. “Fine.”
Nicole felt something inside her shrivel. Hope. Unfortunately, it wasn’t love. Heaven help her, she still loved Rafe with everything inside her.
Days and nights passed with Rafe ignoring her at every turn. Nicole didn’t know if she could bear his banked antipathy toward her. He hated her, but understood that Joel needed her. Therefore, he allowed her to stay.
Nicole struggled to find a way to make the situation better for all three of them. She even wondered if she should leave. The very thought of it tore her apart.
After Joel went to bed one night, she confronted Rafe. “Do you want me to leave?”
He shook his head. “No. I want you to stay. My son needs you.”
But not Rafe. Her stomach twisted. She sucked in a shallow breath. “I talked to a lawyer. I’m signing back full custody to you and I’m proposing an annulment for our marriage.”
Rafe stared at her in cynical surprise. “Annulment?” he echoed. “We consummated our marriage on the way home from the so-called ceremony.”
His words lashed at her. She cringed, but took another breath, determined to do everything she could to make the situation right. “If we annul the marriage, then I won’t share custody of Joel and you won’t owe me anything. No money. Nothing. Ever.”
He narrowed his eyes. “You would give up all your rights?”
“Yes,” she whispered.
“I’ll think about it,” he said with a careless shrug, and she knew she’d lost him forever.
Thirteen
Each day that Nicole spent in Rafe’s house was harder than the last. She’d thought it would get easier. It had to, she told herself every night and every morning, but it hadn’t. With a mixture of relief and sadness, she accepted her cousin Julia’s invitation to attend her baby’s christening. Julia had also asked Nicole to be the baby’s godmother. In light of how Nicole has messed up her current situation, she was thankful for Julia’s confidence in her.
“I’m going back to Atlanta next weekend,” she told Rafe that evening after another meal where he barely spoke to her.
He paused and looked at her. “For how long?”
“Just for the weekend. Julia’s baby is being christened.”
“Okay, but you won’t be taking Joel,” he said.
“I hadn’t planned on taking Joel,” she said, unable to keep a twinge of defensiveness from her tone. “I knew you wouldn’t want him to go. I know you don’t trust me.”
“On the contrary, I trust you very much when it comes to the care of my son, or you would be out of my house.”
His words shouldn’t have stabbed at her, but they did. Rising from the table, she met his gaze. “Well, I’ll be out of your house next weekend. Maybe that will do both of us some good,” she said, then turned to go.