“I’ll come up with you,” I tell her, pushing my chair out from the table where we are all eating.
She shakes her head. “No, I really want to be alone right now. But thanks, Ethan. And it was so nice meeting you, Leo,” she tells Enzo’s father. “I hope I’ll be more fun tomorrow.”
“The pleasure is all mine, sweetheart. I know I had reservations about this arrangement,” he says, his hands stretching out over the table. “But I see you’re all having the time of your lives. And why should an old man judge?”
I look at Enzo who is listening intently to his father.
“Look,” Leo says. “I should be heading out to my hotel soon anyways. It was a long day of travel.”
Chloe leaves the room, and once she’s upstairs, I exhale. “Something isn’t right,” I say.
Noah frowns. “What do you mean?” He cocks his head toward Leo. “We just dealt with the worst of Chloe’s worries.”
“Which was?” Leo asks.
“Meeting you,” Mason explains. “This relationship isn’t exactly traditional. People have lots of opinions.”
Leo waves a hand in the air before picking up his glass of merlot. “Ehhh, at first when Enzo mentioned this on the phone, I was apprehensive. But now that I’m with you, I realize you’re all so young, enjoying yourselves. It’s not so bad, you know, having fun while you aren’t tied down to anything. Anyone. You’re free to play, the world is your oyster.”
I nearly choke on his words. Because I don’t feel free –– not in the way he means. I am tied down to Chloe, and I think Mason, Enzo, and Noah all agree with me.
“This relationship isn’t just shits and giggles,” I tell Leo. “It’s real,” I tell him what I tell myself, over and over again.
Leo raises his hands. “I’m not here to judge.” Cocking his head to the side he adds, “Though I’m the minority. What you’re talking about here, boys, is a complicated concept. Eventually one of you might outgrow this arrangement ... then what?”
Just then, Chloe reenters the room. Tears are in her eyes and I know she just heard the comments Leo made.
I clench my jaw, having just spent the last few months easing Chloe’s worry about this relationship. The last thing she needs right now is another person doubting the viability.
“Sorry to interrupt, but, um, I was wondering if I might have a word alone with you guys?” She bites her bottom lip and Leo stands from the table.
“Of course, Chloe. I’m heading out anyways.” He stands up from the table and squeezes Chloe’s shoulders. “Sorry if I upset you.”
She shakes her head and answers flatly, “It’s fine. You’re a realist.”
“The opposite of my son, Enzo. He took after his mother. He was a romantic, always saw the silver lining and the shooting stars.”
Chloe’s eyes travel to Enzo’s and a flicker of something passes between them. When you choose to be in a relationship like this, there are a thousand looks shared between lovers that you aren’t privy to. Because I am not Chloe’s alone.
And right now, I am grateful for that. Whatever she is holding back, needing to unload, it’s something big. I can see it in her drawn expression.
And I know I’m not strong enough to carry it all for her.
But I don’t have to.
I am not in this by myself.
I have my three best friends to help hold Chloe up when she is about to fall.
I just wonder sometimes if Chloe is strong enough to carry me.
The weight of having four men is a lot, and Chloe has been through hell and back already. She looks exhausted, weary, spent.
Sometimes it’s hard to believe that by being here I’m not just adding to her burden.
I want to believe being her partner adds to her life, but as she solemnly sits on the couch, inviting us to do the same, I realize something that is hard to swallow.
I may want to be a dreamer, may have spent my time guiding Chloe toward trusting us with her everything, but deep down I think I’m a realist. Just like Leo, Enzo’s father.
And as a realist, I see this differently than my friends do.
And that fucking terrifies me.
This won’t end well.Chapter 47CHLOEI walked around Waikiki all afternoon thinking things through.
Getting pregnant was not a part of the plan. But that line of thought just brought me to the next, equally important question. What exactly is the plan?
Truth is … I don’t know. I’m over my head and I know in my heart I can’t sleep on it. I have to tell the guys now.
Because one of them is the father.
Sitting on the couch with them, knowing I have information that will permanently rock our world, terrifies me. It’s so much and I have no idea how to gauge how they will react.