Dare To Love Again

I heard her finally entering the room next to mine, the room that was connected by a flimsy door: the room that had been built with the sole purpose of giving the man of the house easy access to his woman. “You’re not this fucking weak, Calen, are you?” Maybe if I’d fucked one of the many women who’d thrown themselves at me in the last two years, I wouldn’t be so desperate as to want to fuck this one again.

But Dana was right. If I’d gone to bed with any one of them, not that I’d even been tempted, it wouldn’t have been fair to them. They wouldn’t have been anything more than a rebound fuck. I let her think that it was her words that had stayed me though, from giving in to my baser needs. But the truth is that I couldn’t feel anything after the bitch left me. She didn’t just take my heart when she disappeared; she took my fucking libido and any desire to get anywhere near her scheming species again.

I glared at the door that separated us, ignoring my raging cock. But then I thought about it. Who’s to stop me? Really! I actually took a step towards the door, her earlier look of defiance playing around in my head. And then I remembered the sweet, unassuming woman I’d taken as my bride, and the shit stopped me in my tracks. Which one is real?

I walked back to my bed and fell on it after losing the towel from around my waist. I can’t believe I’d been about to go in there and do that. No matter what she’d done, she didn’t deserve that. I’d rather kill her than force myself on her. That shit makes no sense Calen you ass. You better get your shit together. You’ve got this woman in your head and mom on your ass. You need a game plan.

I rolled over and faced the wall away from the direction of that damn door. I don’t want anything other than my son. Once I figure out how to take him from her, none of the rest really matters. I’d come too close tonight to falling into her trap. Wouldn’t I be the world’s biggest idiot if I went there again if I found myself in her bed in her?

For fuck sake, stop thinking about being inside her. I buried my face in my pillow, hating us both for me wanting her. How can this shit be possible? I’ve hated her for so long, how can one innocent touch unleash such need? Instead of waning, that need kept growing. Now all the times that I took her were replaying themselves on a loop inside my head.

All the many places and positions I’d taken her in came flooding back, and this time I was at a loss to stop them. Why the fuck did she come back into my life? And why is my body betraying me? How can it want her of all people? I thought I hated her more than I’ve ever hated anyone in my life. So how can I react to her this way?

It’s going to be a long fucking night. Last night I’d been too angry, and there was too much going on with the new revelation that I had a son and heir when I’d pretty much given up on that, but now with my son here under my roof and things set in motion to get my way, it’s like the barriers were down, down enough to let that viper in. Shit, at this rate, before the night is through. I’m either going to fuck her or kill her.* * *GISELLE* * *I tossed and turned for the better part of the night, not able to get settled. My lip still tingled and stung from his kiss and my body still burned. How could I have forgotten how potent he is? I’d spent a lot of time trying to get over that, to put all of our couplings out of my head. Focusing on the baby had helped, and then life had taken care of the rest. But with one touch, it has all come rushing back again.

The gentle way in which he’d introduced me to sex. The joy I’d felt at learning that my body could give and gain such pleasure. I remember our laughter as we rolled around in his bed, the way he used to touch me, so tenderly. Not like tonight! So why did his rough treatment of me make my body react the way it did?

I can still feel the sticky wetness between my thighs. I should probably get up and wash, but I’m afraid to move around too much. My heart was still racing too hard for me to get comfortable in bed and so I ended up tossing some more, trying to find the perfect spot on the sheets that didn’t make my body feel like it was going to explode.