Then, he took me in his arms and held me. So natural. So Gavin.
My body just absorbed his energy. It was a powerful feeling I couldn’t fully describe, except to say it felt like I’d finally found my way home.
“This is the hug I should’ve given you seven years ago. I’m sorry I didn’t.”
His words only made me sob harder. When we pulled back and I looked up into his eyes, they were filled with emotion, so much pain—a stark contrast to what he’d said earlier about not harboring any feelings. After he let go of me, my body ached for his touch.
Gavin returned to his spot across from me.
“It’s been a long time since I’ve cried about it,” I said. “I guess seeing you again has brought back a lot. You were there for some really tough times.” I wiped my eyes. “I’m really sorry about what happened to your mom, too.”
I meant that. As horrible as Ruth was to me, no one deserved to die that way. The only blessing about my mother going the way she did was that I’d gotten to say goodbye.
“She treated you horribly, so I appreciate you saying that.”
“I was devastated for you when I found out. I should’ve reached out, too. I heard about it on the news and sent flowers to your dad, but like you, I didn’t think you’d want to see or hear from me. I’d hurt you so badly.”
“It’s okay.” He stared into his glass and swirled his wine. “You know, as terrible as my mother could be, things between us had gotten a lot better over the years. At the time of her death, we’d never been closer. So I take solace in the fact that—at the very least—she knew I loved her.”
I suppose now wouldn’t be a good time to bring up the fact that she was the entire reason for our heartbreak. After what he’d just said, I wasn’t sure the truth would ever come out. I couldn’t taint his memory of her.
He tried to lighten the mood. “So, here’s a simple question. What have you been doing for a decade?”
“Such a simple question.” I laughed, taking a long sip of my wine. “The first few years after we last saw each other were all about my mother—taking care of her, making sure she had what she needed until the very end. After she passed away, that next year was a blur. Some time after that, I was finally able to garner the strength to enroll in school. I got my nursing degree, then got a job right out of college at the hospital. Over time, I realized I could make more money working privately, so I took a job with the agency I work for now. I’ve been with them almost two years.”
I hoped that would satisfy his curiosity. I didn’t want to admit that while there had been a few boyfriends over the years, no one had come close to what we had. Gavin was the one who got away. My heart had never healed, the space within it reserved for someone it couldn’t have, never allowing anyone else fully in.
He cleared his throat. “So, I have to ask...”
My heart began to pound.
“Do you still do jiu-jitsu?”
My pulse slowed a bit. This dinner was like a roller coaster ride.
“Yes, actually. But I’m no longer a student. I teach it.”
He smiled wide. “No shit? That’s fucking awesome.”
“It’s been my one constant stress-reliever all these years.”
“I’m really glad to hear you’ve kept it up.”
“Yeah. Me, too.”
“And Marni? How’s she doing these days?”
“Oh my God. She just had a baby!”
“Really? That’s amazing.”
“Artificial insemination. She’s still playing for the same team.”
“I was gonna say.”
“She and Jenny are still together.”
“Wow. They stood the test of time.”
“Yup.” And we ended before we had a chance to begin.
There was a huge elephant in the room, and neither one of us was gonna touch it—no matter how curious we might be.
“So, tell me about your career,” I finally said.
“How much do you know?”
“I know you’re not a lawyer, even though you were leaving for law school the last time I saw you.” I smiled. “And I know you started your own company, although I’m unclear on what exactly you do.”
He wiped his mouth with a napkin. “Yeah, so, a year after I went away to law school, I decided it wasn’t for me. As you can imagine, Mother was thrilled.” He chuckled. “I transferred to the MBA program, but even after graduating, I didn’t have a clear picture of what I wanted to do with my life. I moved to London and met two guys who were designing these robots that could do everything from assisting people who had paralysis to performing manufacturing tasks. I put up the capital to start the business, and the rest was history. Years later, I own one of the most successful robotics companies in all of England.”