“No worries.” I yawned. “How are you?”
“I’m good. I miss you.”
Rubbing my eyes, I said, “I miss you, too.”
“How is your dad?”
“That’s hard to answer. I mean, he’s physically okay. But mentally…it’s worse than I thought.”
“Gosh, I’m so sorry. I was worried you’d say that. It’s hard to even concentrate here when you’re going through that all alone.”
“It’s okay. I need this time with him. I wouldn’t be able to offer you much right now even if you were here.”
“I wouldn’t expect anything. I know it’s only been a couple of days, but it’s just tough being away from you. I was okay during the day, but I really missed you last night.”
“I’ll be back soon enough. What I don’t yet know is whether my father will be coming with me.”
“You’re not sure he’d be willing to move?”
“Oh I know he wouldn’t be willing to move. I just don’t know if I can force it. He’s got a pretty good setup here. But I can’t be in two places at once.”
“Well, hopefully the right answer will come to you while you’re there.”
I sighed. “That’s the hope.”
“I’m sorry again for waking you up.”
“It’s okay. I should probably be getting up soon anyway. I wanted to spend some time with Dad before his day nurse arrives.”
“Doesn’t he have 24-hour care?”
“Yeah, but he prefers the day nurse, so I didn’t want to interrupt his time with her. Figured I’d sneak in before she gets here, if he’s up.”
“So, the staff is good?”
“Yeah. I’m very pleased so far.”
“Well, that’s good, at least.” She sighed. “Okay, well, I just wanted to check in.”
“I’m glad you did.”
“Even if I woke you?” She laughed.
I grinned. “Even if you woke me.”
“I love you.”
“Love you, too.”
“Bye.”
“Bye.” I hung up and stared at the phone.
Paige and I had been together for a little less than a year. We’d met when she was hired for a marketing position at my company. I’d always sworn off mixing business with pleasure, but given that my job was my life, I eventually gave in.
My life in London with Paige was comfortable, and I hadn’t been happy in years until she came along. I’d never doubted whether I was ready to settle down with her—until this trip. My reaction to Raven, how quickly everything came back, really caught me off guard. I felt a little guilty, because even though I knew nothing would happen between Raven and me, I couldn’t help but wonder what those feelings meant as they related to my relationship with Paige.
Why was I having any feelings at all for someone else? I had to chalk it up to nostalgia. Things with Raven had ended so abruptly that maybe I never fully got over it. Seeing her again opened an old wound. Maybe this was a normal reaction, and I was overanalyzing it.
But I had neglected to mention Paige last night. And I didn’t fully understand why. Raven and I were talking about our lives. Wasn’t Paige a huge part of my life? It’s not something I’d planned to hide. If Raven had asked me, I would have told her.
I guess I didn’t really know how to bring it up. She hadn’t offered any information on her own relationships. I didn’t want to seem like I was throwing mine in her face. But for all I knew, Raven was married now.***After I got up and got dressed, I told the night nurse she could leave early. Dad and I ended up taking an early morning walk around the grounds.
The morning air was soupy with humidity. As we strolled, Dad asked me many of the same questions he’d asked when I first arrived. So I repeated a lot of stuff we’d already discussed. I guess at this point I was just grateful he still knew who I was.
“How long are you staying?” he asked.
Again, another question he’d asked me several times.
“About a month.”
“Good.”
As we continued to walk along, I said, “You know, Dad, I really wish I lived closer to you. My company is based in London, so I won’t be able to move back here. Would you ever consider letting me move you to England to be closer to me?”
He shook his head. “No.”
“You won’t even consider it, even if I bought you a nice house and got you anything you needed with 24-hour staff, just like here?”
He stopped walking and stared into my eyes with a look of awareness that had been fleeting since I’d arrived.
“I love this house,” he said. “I want to die here.”
“You’d rather stay here, being taken care of by strangers, than with your own family?”
“Renata is not a stranger.”
Renata.
“Okay...not Renata. But what happens when she has to leave or gets reassigned? I can’t take care of you from overseas, Dad.”
He once again looked me dead in the eyes. “I’m not going anywhere.”