I nodded silently. Trying to convince him to move was a lost cause. In the end, he’d earned the right to live and die wherever he damn well pleased. And I was going to have to deal with it.
He looked stressed, and I hated that I’d caused that.
I placed my hand on his shoulder. “It’s okay, Dad. We’ll figure it out. Maybe I can fly home more.”
At that moment, I noticed a red SUV pulling into the front driveway. Raven exited the vehicle. My father took one look at her and lit up.
“There she is,” he said.
“Yup. There she is,” I muttered as I followed him toward her.
Raven’s smile spread across her gorgeous face. “Did you guys go for a walk?”
“Yeah. It’s a beautiful morning,” I said. “Nice and cool.”
“I’m glad you’re getting to see your son, Mr. M. Actually, if you’re still up for being out and about today, I was thinking maybe later we could go check out the new organic food market they opened in the center of town.”
My father nodded. “I’d love to go.”
She turned to me. “Would you want to come with us?”
I blinked a few times, surprised by the offer. I guess she wasn’t avoiding me anymore?
“That’d be great.”***Later that morning, the three of us got into my rental car and drove to the new market.
On the way, I stopped at Starbucks, and it felt like old times. Raven ordered her macchiato. I got the same for the hell of it. Dad didn’t want anything. He sat next to me in the passenger seat while Raven was in the back. I stole glances at her in the rearview mirror, still in awe that she was here. Her familiar smell brought back memories I’d tried for a long time to suppress.
Things were pretty chill until “Hello” by Adele came on the radio.
Too much, universe. Too much.
I’d never switched a station faster.***Once we got to the market, I found that being out with my dad was bittersweet because it was just another reminder of how reliant he was on Raven. She knew mangoes were his favorite fruit and that he didn’t react well to citrus. He couldn’t make any decisions on his own or even remember what he liked.
It made me sad that I couldn’t be here to do things like this with him all the time. My mind raced as I tried to think about a solution for his long-term care, whether there was any way it could include me. My entire company was in London. I couldn’t move hundreds of employees. But this was my father. Maybe I could figure out a way to live here part of the year. My brain kept going in circles as we shopped.
There was an ice cream stand in the corner of the market. Dad announced that he wanted some and was going to walk over and get it. Raven and I waited with the cart while he stood in line.
“Sometimes I try to give him some space,” she said.
“That must be hard, considering he can’t really be alone.”
“Yeah, but if I’m nearby, I try to let him do his own thing. I don’t want to stifle him.”
“Not sure he really minds having you glued to his side. I feel like my dad is as smitten with you as I once was.”
The words escaped me before I could think better of saying them.
She blushed. “It’s innocent. Your dad has never insinuated anything, if that’s what you’re getting at.”
“I wasn’t suggesting he had. I was just pointing out the obvious: you make him happy.” I know how that feels.
Our conversation was interrupted when the clerk at the ice cream counter called out, “Is anyone with this man?”
We abandoned the cart and rushed over to the line.
“Dad, are you alright?”
“He seems disoriented,” the girl said.
“Thank you. We’ll handle it,” Raven said. “Do you still want some ice cream?”
“I…just…I want to go home,” Dad said as she ushered him away.
“Of course, Mr. M.” She nodded at me. “Gavin will take you outside, and I’ll pay for these groceries.”
My heart felt like it was breaking as I held my father’s arm. “Come on. Let’s get you back to the car.”
I felt like a fish out of water, but Raven was calm as could be. It was clear something like this had happened before. God, I was clueless about how to deal with my own father. Sometimes love can’t fix everything.
After I let Dad into the car, I settled in on the driver’s side and rested my head on the back of the seat. I couldn’t help the lone tear that escaped from my eye. I wiped it quickly. This was so much harder than I’d ever imagined.
After a few minutes, I got my shit together and turned to him. “You okay now, Dad?”