I writhe on his fingers, so turned on I feel close to coming, but I don't want to give in straight away. He thinks that he can addle my brain with pleasure, but he's wrong. If he thinks I'm going to make it easy for him to hold me at arm’s length, he's deluded. I put my hand over his and clamp it tightly, halting his movements.
"I've been thinking about you," I whisper. "But not just about the sex."
Aaron stills behind me and is silent as he holds his breath.
"I want you to take what you need from me now. But after we'll talk, okay."
"What I need? What's that supposed to mean?" His body stiffens, and I know I've hit a raw nerve.
"Nothing. I didn't mean anything," I say, trying to turn in Aaron's arms but failing as he grips me tighter.
"This isn't about just me, is it? It's about you, Whiskey Rose, you and your summons. Rules are made to be broken, aren't they? So let's break some."
"What rules do you want to break, Aaron?"
"All of them," he whispers darkly, and bites the back of my neck.
"Don't do this," I say, wincing, hating that he's come to me with his pretend face back on. I don't know where the man who visited me in London has gone, but I want him back.
"Don't do what? Make you feel good?" He curls his fingers that are still inside me and pushes hard against my G-spot. The sensations made me buck forward.
"Nooo," I say, moaning with pleasure and frustration. "Don't put on your 'face' with me, Aaron. I want you. Just you. Not that other man that you pretend to be."
I reach behind me to cup his face as best as I can, and he pulls his fingers from inside me. I turn in his loose arms and wrap mine around him as tightly as I can. "I missed you," I say against his neck. "I'm glad you're here."
He stays rigid in my arms, and I feel my cheeks heat, anticipating a brush-off that will be more humiliation than I can bear. I feel the sting of tears behind my eyes and a metallic ache in my throat, but then he softens, pulling me against him and kissing my temple. "I'm glad I'm here too, Nicole." I have to swallow down the negative emotions that threaten to boil over and take a deep breath, as I enjoy being held. It feels better than I could have imagined, and I inhale his scent, nuzzling closer, stroking my fingers through his hair soothingly.
Aaron is wearing a blue button-up shirt and dark jeans, and he feels so deliciously solid and warm against me. He tips my chin, so I'm looking into his serious jade eyes. "I wasn't sure I should come. I wasn't sure what was best for both of us. I still don't know if I've made the right decision. But I am glad I'm here."
"Why aren't you sure it's the right decision?"
"Because this road isn't easy, Nicole." He swallows, his throat moving in a way that seems labored.
I reach out to cup his cheek, which is bristly with a day's growth, and he turns his face into my palm and kisses it.
"Nothing worth having ever comes easy, Aaron. But if you never try, you never know."
It's strange to try to convince him of something I'm still struggling to accept myself. We are so similar in our fears, but maybe that's what is going to help us take the leap. Knowing he understands me is reassuring, and I hope he feels that way too. He kisses my forehead and strokes over my arm, linking our fingers and squeezing.
"How did you get so wise?" he says.
"I'm not wise, Aaron. I'm muddling my way through here."
I look up at his face, his straight nose and smooth olive skin, and those beautiful green eyes that don't look away, even though they are filled with trepidation. I want to reassure him, to show him how I feel in the way he seems to understand the best, so I roll on top of him, straddling his legs. I take off my dress to show him what I've bought for his pleasure. His eyes widen at the sight of the slip.
"You're so beautiful," he says, holding my hips with his big hands, running his thumbs over the softness of my stomach. I reach forward for the buttons on his shirt, undoing them slowly until his chest is revealed to me; chiseled lines and soft golden skin. I lean down to press kisses over his heart, and he sighs with contentment.
"You're not going to run from me again, are you?" I kiss his mouth, and he grasps my face, pulling me back to look into my eyes.
"I left for both our sakes, Nicole. I didn't want to hurt you any more than I had. I thought it was for the best, but then you sent your email, and I wasn't sure anymore."