Her eyes were heavy, and her head thick with sleep. She shook herself and straightened up in the chair. Where was Raphael? He seemed to be taking a long time.

A phone rang and Mary reached for it, then brought up the computer screen. ‘Here we go. Knew the quiet spell was too good to be true.’

Isabella looked around the work area, saw nothing unusual to ask about. All fairly standard. It wasn’t going to be hard to slot in with everyone. A yawn slipped out and her eyes drooped.

‘Wake up, sleepy head.’ A firm hand shook her gently.

Isabella dragged her chin up off her sternum and blinked up at Raphael. ‘Guess I didn’t make the coffee strong enough.’

‘Let’s get out of here. You’re giving everyone the wrong impression.’ He winked.

All very well to make a joke of it, but she probably was. There seemed to be more people wandering around the area now. Saturday afternoon brought friends and family out in their droves. ‘I’ll be fine by the time I start work on Wednesday.’

Mary laughed. ‘Seems I bored you to sleep talking about shifts and who’s who on the roster.’

Didn’t hear any of that. ‘Sorry. I’ll do better next time. I’m still getting over my flights.’ She stood up slowly, picked up her bag from the floor where it had fallen. ‘See you when we’re on the same shift.’

Mary nodded. ‘Or handing over.’

‘Do people know I’m staying with you?’ Isabella asked Raphael as they waited for the lift to take them down to the car park.

‘I haven’t mentioned it to anyone except Jacki, since she’s the head nurse for the ward, and I figured she needed to know since I put such a good word in for you.’ He grinned. ‘It’s none of anyone else’s business though. Not that it’s a secret, but I don’t want someone saying I’m favouring you once you’re working amongst us.’ The lift rattled to a stop and the door cranked open. ‘Come on, let’s get out of here and go do something interesting.’

‘Like what?’

‘For you that means getting some sleep.’

‘If I sleep during the day I won’t get much during the night.’

‘The problem with that theory is that you’re already dropping off every opportunity you get. And you don’t sleep at night anyway.’

Isabella grimaced. ‘True. How about I have a snooze, then we go for a walk along the river?’ The exercise would do her good.

They climbed into Raphael’s car and started for home.

‘Want to talk about why you’re so tired?’ he asked quietly as they waited at traffic lights.

‘Not really.’ It wouldn’t change things. But this was the one person she used to tell everything.

‘Don’t blame the jet lag. This is worse than normal.’

‘Didn’t mention the jet lag.’

‘It’s to do with Darren, right?’

Just spill the beans, get it off your chest. What’s Raphael going to say that you haven’t already said to yourself?

‘I stuffed up big-time.’ She paused, stared out the window at the tail lights on the car in front. ‘I’m talking about my marriage. Our bust-up wasn’t all Darren’s fault.’

‘There’re usually two sides to these things.’

Yeah, but she was uncomfortable with her contribution, or lack of. ‘I didn’t love him as much as I should’ve.’

‘Then why did you marry him?’ There was genuine confusion radiating from Raphael. Maybe a hint of disappointment.

Shouldn’t have told him. But she’d started, so might as well get it over. ‘Because I thought I did. I believed I did. Right up until it all began disintegrating.’

No, earlier than that. I stayed in denial for as long as I could.

‘The pain wasn’t as deep as you’d expect?’ Forget disappointment. Raphael was looking confused. Which made no sense at all. More to think about when she wasn’t so tired.

‘Yes, it was, but for the wrong reasons. That took a bit to figure out but when I did it hurt more than ever.’ She drew a deep breath and rushed on. ‘Darren promised a home and family, and to live in the same city for the rest of our lives. I so desperately wanted that I didn’t look beyond to anything else. By marrying him I let him down. Hell, I let myself down. And you know what’s the worst? I don’t know with complete certainty that I’ve learnt my lesson. What if I make the same mistake again? I was so intent on living the life my parents had denied me I got it all wrong, and it worries me.’ What if she fell in love again, only to find she’d made another mistake?

They’d stopped at another set of lights and Raphael’s fingers were playing a silent tune on the steering wheel. ‘We all make mistakes, Izzy.’

‘I got wrong the one dream I’ve had most of my life.’ She swallowed a bitter mouthful of pain. ‘Which is why in the meantime I’m sticking to running solo and making a home of my own, by me for me. I don’t want to hurt someone else. Better to play safe.’ Get it, Rafe? Actually, it was her she needed to remind of that.

‘I think you’re being hard on yourself.’

‘Yeah, right,’ she growled. ‘Easy for you to say. Darren did some bad things like those affairs and spending more time with his mates than me, but if I’d loved him as much as I’d professed, then he wouldn’t have had to. He might’ve stayed home more often, might’ve been happy to go house hunting instead of skirt chasing.’ She was grasping at straws. According to the partner of one of his mates, Darren had always had a roving eye. Not that it was his eye doing most of the work. But apparently she wasn’t the only partner he’d cheated on, just the first wife.

‘He could’ve talked to you about it, not buried his head in the sand.’

‘Like Cassie did with you?’ Isabella snapped, and instantly regretted her words. This was about her and her messed-up relationship, had nothing to do with Raphael’s history. But he didn’t seem to accept she was at least trying to take some of the blame in an attempt to soften the hurt Darren had created and that riled her. As he said, she was usually so honest it could be awkward. ‘I shouldn’t have said that.’

‘Non. You shouldn’t have.’

Silence took over in the car, tense and uncomfortable. Isabella stared out at the passing buildings, not really noticing them, instead seeing Wellington on a bright summer’s day with the harbour sparkling and the ferries passing further out. Her heart didn’t flutter with longing, instead seemed to sigh with relief. Yes, she’d done the right thing in leaving there, as she had in walking away from her marriage. And from now on she was dropping the worry about that, looking forward, no more doubts. Hopefully then the trust issue would start to resolve itself, and she could consider a new relationship. She’d make herself get on with it. Now. Not tomorrow or next week. Now. ‘So what did you have in mind for us to do this afternoon?’

* * *

Raphael drew in a lungful of air and sighed it back out. He could hear Izzy’s distress, understand her fear of repeating her mistake—because he knew it all too well himself. Cassie had torn his heart to shreds, and he was reluctant to try again. Hell, in the beginning he’d given Cassie everything. His love, his life, his family, trust. He’d only put his foot down about living in Paris because he already had the job he needed to set up his career as he

wanted. It had been the only thing he’d denied her, and it had backfired, brought out her fickleness. So no, he wasn’t getting involved with anyone else. Certainly not the woman sitting beside him. Then he went and messed with that idea. ‘Thought we’d get the bikes out and go for a spin alongside the river.’

‘We what?’ Shock filled her face. ‘Me? On a bike? Think you’ve got the wrong person in mind for that.’

He’d made her forget what she’d been gnawing her lip over though, hadn’t he? Her lip was swollen. A kiss might help ease the soreness. Swearing under his breath, he scrabbled around for something inane to say. ‘One of the doctors was selling her bike last week so I bought it for you.’

‘Hope you got crash pads and a helmet and padded clothing to go with it. And a pair of those thick fancy shorts that make butts look bigger.’

Butts. Bigger. Fitted shorts. He swallowed hard. Sure. ‘You forgot the steel-capped boots.’ Even to his ears, his laugh sounded strained. But he was glad to have made her smile, though he was still sour about her snide remark over Cassie, even if it was true. That was just Isabella putting up the wall to keep him away. Though she had gone for the jugular, not something she usually did.

He’d never told her the whole story. Certainly hadn’t mentioned the baby he’d only learned about when he’d tracked Cassie down a couple of years later. Nearly as bad was coming to terms with the fact Cassie should’ve been more upset, but relieved their baby hadn’t suffered. Her new career in acting had been taking off and a baby would’ve been a hindrance. Later he learned the bit parts hadn’t flowed into roles of any significance, had instead ebbed away to the point she now worked in a sleazy bar on the outskirts of Los Angeles, struggling to make ends meet. It was the last time he’d seen her, and he’d woken up. They had nothing in common, and he’d wondered how he could’ve loved her so much. They said love was blind, and he’d found out the hard way how true that could be. He didn’t want to lose his sight ever again.

Tags: Sue MacKay Billionaire Romance
Source: readsnovelonline.net