It was on the tip of my tongue to say something shitty to her, to make sure she understood that while I stayed by her side through her fever, that didn’t mean that I hated her less or had forgiven her yet.
But the moment I finally looked at her, I forgot everything I was going to say.
My brain stuttered for a moment, as if I had seen a ghost.
And I did.
Because Julianna was gone.
And in her place was… Gracelynn.
No, I was wrong. This was the real Julianna.
Pale blonde hair and the prettiest grey eyes.
Her black hair was gone and it finally dawned on me that Julianna didn’t have to hide her identity anymore. The right side of her face was turned toward me, the unmarred side.
The woman who I fell in love with three years ago was sitting next to me.
The one who haunted me day and night for the last three years.
And the same woman whom I mourned.
The lump in my throat grew larger and I swallowed past it, trying to force myself to think. Julianna Spencer had thrown me off my equilibrium and left me reeling.
She neither had to wear that black veil anymore nor hide behind those vases at the dining table.
No more hiding.
No more lies.
It was all in the open now.
Her truth and her scars.
“You’re staring,” Julianna said, reaching for her cutlery.
I almost flinched, but instead my jaw tightened. I leaned back into my chair, crossing my right ankle over my opposite knee. My gaze swept over her body, lazily. Making an obvious show of checking her out. I took in the expensive white sequin dress, the ruby and diamond jewelry around her throat – the same one I had given her as a courting gift three years ago – and how her platinum blonde hair was left loose in soft waves.
She was always dressed in expensive gowns and jewels for dinner. If she wasn’t adorned in diamonds, she wore sapphires, rubies or emeralds. Almost like she had been wanting to make a point, to prove that she was more than what our contract had said.
More than just a human vessel who was expected to carry my child. My heir.
But tonight, Julianna was specifically dressed to remind me that she was no less than a Queen. My equal. She was making a silent statement, when she chose to wear the ruby set I had gifted her.
Julianna nudged her chin up in a haughty look and my lips twitched, involuntarily. That was such a Gracelynn thing for her to do. How did I never notice that before?
There had been two many familiarities between past and present Julianna. But I had been so blind by my need for vengeance and the rage churning inside me that I never allowed myself to notice the similarities.
“I am staring,” I drawled. “So what?”
Her gaze held mine and I was shocked by her newfound confidence. This wasn’t the woman I left in her room three days ago.
On the fifth day since the horse incident, Julianna’s fever finally subsided. She was fully conscious at this point, just weary and fragile. I still remembered the look on her face when she found me sitting on the chair beside her bed.
A look of utter tenderness.
And eyes silently and desperately begging for forgiveness.
Julianna finally woke up, free from her tormenting fever, to find me sitting on the chair next to her bed. Her eyes were hooded, still somewhat drowsy, but I knew she was fully awake now. Fully conscious.
She had sweated the fever last night and Rani did say that while Julianna would feel like shit the next morning, she would be more alert and cognizant.
Julianna’s gaze locked on mine. We stared at each other for what seemed like a long eternity. Time slowed down and it was only me and her.
Julianna and Killian.
Our tarnished past was forgotten for a second.
Julianna slowly rose from the bed and limped over to me in a pale blue nightgown. My fists clenched on the armrests, so that I wouldn’t do something stupid like reach out for her.
To my utter astonishment, she lowered herself onto her knees between my spread thighs.
“What do you think you’re doing?” I questioned; my voice harsh to my own ears.
Silently, Julianna grasped my hand in hers, bringing it to her mouth. Her lips brushed against the center of my palm in a tender kiss.
A kiss asking for forgiveness.
A silent kiss of redemption.
“I still haven’t forgiven you,” I muttered, feeling the way my heart thudded in my chest at her small touch.
“I’m sorry,” she breathed.
I learned forward, bringing our faces closer. “You hurt me.”
“I’m sorry.”
“I mourned you,” I said, venom dripping in my tone.
Julianna flinched. “I’m sorry.”
My lips curled into a bitter smile. “I hate you.”
“I’m sorry.”
My chest rumbled with a low snarl as my arm snaked out and I grasped the back of her neck. Tugging her forward. She leaned into me, without any resistance.