But he had. And she loved him too. She swallowed hard, the pain in her chest and the knot in her throat hard to bear. She loved him yet she’d pushed him away. In falling back on old habits and patterns, she’d hurt a man who’d taken the greatest risk of all and reached out to her despite his past hurt.
There was no possible way Rick could ever forgive her nor could he begin to understand what drove her need to remain in a self-contained cocoon of safety. Unfortunately she no longer felt as safe or protected as she once had. Instead she felt ripped raw, exposed, and she hurt badly. But if she hurt, she was feeling. For the first time.
Which meant just maybe she had a future.
* * *
Raina sat in the living room of Eric’s house while he made himself busy doing heaven knew what. She didn’t mind, rather she enjoyed the solitary time she spent in his home. It had been too long since she’d enjoyed the sounds of a man puttering around her and she savored the feeling. Soon she’d have even more family around her when Eric’s daughters and their children arrived.
Raina couldn’t wait to spend the time with them and her heart swelled at being included and accepted. Eric planned a quiet afternoon at home and dinner at Norman’s in deference to her charade. He didn’t approve of her faking a heart condition but he accepted, his only stipulation that if ever directly questioned by Raina’s sons, he refused to lie.
Which was why his associate, Dr. Leslie Gaines, was now her doctor of record. Personal and professional lives should be kept separate anyway though at this point, it didn’t much matter. Roman knew, Rick had just found out, and no doubt they’d fill Chase in next.
“I’m sorry to have kept you waiting,” Eric said as he joined her in the living room and sat by her side on the white sofa.
In his striped polo shirt and khaki pants, he looked handsome. Her heart fluttered each time he walked into a room, a sensation she still hadn’t gotten used to after being a widow for twenty years, but a feeling she definitely enjoyed. Eric’s attention made her feel years younger and she thanked God every day for a second chance at happiness—the same happiness she wanted for all three of her sons.
“I had some paperwork I had to finish up. But now I’m yours for the day,” he said, a pleased smile on his face.
“That’s wonderful.”
“Then why do you sound so miserable?” He turned toward her, taking her hand in his.
She shook her head. “Not miserable. Just a bit worried about Rick and Kendall.”
He let out a sigh. “I understand. That display the other night was completely inappropriate. Is Rick any closer to finding out who switched pictures?”
Out of respect for her middle son and his hurt over her actions, Raina had tried hard not to meddle more or ask him too many questions. But this one she did know the answer to. “He has a hunch it was Lisa Burton but he can’t prove anything.”
“Lisa?” Eric’s eyes opened wide. “Now that’s a shock. I’ll assume jealousy was the motive but I can’t believe she’d go to such extremes to find information on Kendall’s past. She had to have dug deep or how else would she have found something to embarrass poor Kendall with?”
“Well, she may not have had to dig too deeply. Apparently Lisa’s got a kinky fetish not many people know about.”
“Then how do you know?” Eric asked.
Raina chuckled. “I overhear things. Rick’s not the only one drawing the same conclusion about Lisa. It seems Mildred in the post office got tipped off immediately since she’s been putting those smutty lingerie catalogues in Lisa’s mail for years. Those are Mildred’s words, you understand.”
“I certainly do. You’re searching for information to redeem yourself with Rick.” He shook his head, clucking his tongue at the same time. “Raina, Raina. When are you going to take my advice and get more involved in your own life than in your sons’?”
She sighed. “Not this again. You know good and well I read to kids at the hospital children’s ward once a week, I exercise when I’m not in fear of being caught, and I see you whenever you aren’t working. My life’s very full and rewarding.” Very rewarding indeed, she thought, staring into his dark eyes.
“Is it now? Then how about making it even richer?” He reached over to the lamp table beside the sofa and picked up a small box she hadn’t noticed earlier.
Coming up on sixty in a few years, she’d been around and Raina had a hunch she knew exactly what kind of jewelry sat in that box. As her pulse rate tripled, she thanked God she didn’t really have a heart condition or she’d find herself prostrate on the floor right now. As he held out the box, she accepted it with shaking hands.