She nodded at his words, pleased he hadn’t tried to touch her. Part of her had wanted him to, had wanted him to hold her close, but she knew she would have broken down in tears and that was the last thing she needed. He would have offered comfort and right now she was too vulnerable not to take it. Instead, she had to remain focused on taking steps to move forward with her life, instead of living in the past and what might have been. Opening up to Jasper was one of those steps. He understood her so easily.
‘How long had you been together?’
‘We’d been together since our first week of medical school.’ A small smile touched her lips. ‘We met on the Monday and he asked me out on the Friday. He was persistent, especially as I was determined not to get involved with anyone due to the six long years of study that lay ahead of me. Art wouldn’t take no for an answer. Halfway through first term he dropped out of medical school and studied education instead. Much more suited to his personality.’ Her smile was bright, her eyes were shining with happiness, and Jasper’s breath caught in his throat at the sight. She’d been a woman in love and all she had left were her memories. ‘Art had a complete love of life. It was infectious and wherever we went everyone around him would end up having a fantastic time whether they wanted to or not.’ She laughed softly. ‘He pulled me out of my comfort zone, wanting me to try new things like abseiling and surfing and swimming with sharks.’
‘Sharks?’
Jennifer nodded. ‘Sharks. I was terrified but when it was over I felt so alive. And that was before you could go to some theme park and pay to swim with sharks in a tank. I’m talking about the ocean. Art never once begrudged the hard work it took to get me through medical school. He’d quiz me on anatomy, help me study before exams, even though he didn’t have a clue what he was quizzing me on half the time.’
Jennifer looked up at Jasper and the light started to dim a little from her face. ‘He was amazing. Just a normal high-school science teacher, not saving the world but making a huge difference in the lives of those he met. He introduced Matt and Sara.’
‘Really?’
‘Knew they were perfect for each other so he got them together. That was my Arturo.’
‘He sounds like quite a man.’ There wasn’t a hint of jealousy in his tone and she appreciated that. Arturo had been a part of her life, just as Elisha had been a part of his. She was pleased he knew there was no need to be jealous of a ghost.
‘He was.’ The light slowly vanished and sadness seemed to engulf her. ‘And then he left me. My world crumbled and fell apart because he left me.’
‘And you threw yourself into work.’
‘I did. I had to find some way to gain control over my life again.’ She raised her eyes to meet his. ‘Work has been good to me. It gets me through. Helps me sleep.’
‘Even now? All these years later?’
‘Yes. Work is consuming.’
‘But is it fulfilling?’
Jennifer thought about that but wasn’t sure quite how to answer. Instead, she looked away and in an attempt to lighten the atmosphere, forced a small smile. ‘Thank you for listening. It’s very rare I talk about him.’
‘Even with Sara?’
‘Sara knew Art so I don’t need to tell her how special he was. She already knows.’
‘Talking about our loved ones, reliving memories, it helps bring them to life again…even for a few moments.’
‘Exactly.’ Jennifer nodded enthusiastically. ‘I love it that you understand these feelings. That you’re not jealous or overreacting to the power of a ghost.’
Jasper eyed her carefully for a second before venturing, ‘They’re not your words, Jen. Someone else has said that to you. A shrink, perhaps?’
‘Am I that transparent?’ She closed her eyes for a moment. ‘I sort of started to get close to a colleague back in Melbourne who was a psychiatrist. That was about four years ago and he couldn’t seem to understand that I needed my memories.’
‘Many people don’t. Sometimes all the textbooks in the world don’t make a scrap of difference if they haven’t experienced it.’
‘I’m a different person now from whom I was back then, but it doesn’t mean my past counts for nothing.’
‘On the contrary, your past has helped make you into the person you are today.’
‘Yes.’
‘The fact that you’ve loved so deeply and then lost equally as deeply is something other people don’t seem able to comprehend.’
‘I take it you’ve tried to speak to other women about Elisha?’