Jasper nodded. ‘They’re naturally curious, I guess. Especially since I have children.’
Jennifer allowed herself a small smile. ‘Most women are very nosy.’
He agreed. ‘True, but whenever I’d start to answer their questions, to tell them about the girls or Elisha, they would feel as though it was some sort of competition, like they had to live up to the standards set by Elisha if they wanted to…to…’ He searched for the right word. ‘Secure me.’
‘But that’s not the case at all.’
‘No. I would simply be answering their questions by telling them how incredibly wonderful the woman I married was.’
‘Otherwise you wouldn’t have married her.’
‘Exactly.’
‘So what was she like?’ Jennifer had been curious about Elisha, as no doubt Jasper had been about Art.
‘Blonde. Blue eyes.’
Jennifer’s smile increased. ‘I sort of gathered that by looking at the girls.’
‘She was an interior designer who loved her job, loved creating atmospheres for people to live in. I think the best way to describe her was that she was content with who she was. I envied that to a certain degree. She was happy being a home body as well, supporting me through my studies, making sure I ate properly. I’d come home from work and invariably find the furniture rearranged or to find her painting the walls.’
‘Did she decorate this place?’
‘Yes, but over the years little changes have been made.’
‘The girls following in their mother’s footsteps?’
Jasper laughed. ‘I guess you could say that especially as Lola did some…shall we say interesting artwork on her walls about three weeks ago.’
‘Oh, no.’
‘Oh, yes.’
‘What did you do?’
‘I hammered up a quick frame and hung it around the drawing. She was impressed.’
‘I’m surprised she didn’t do it again with that sort of reaction.’
‘Lilly wanted to but I managed to convey my dislike of unauthorised murals and supplied them with a huge pile of paper instead.’
‘They both like drawing?’
‘Yes. Again taking after Elisha. I don’t want them to lose that because they didn’t know their mother.’
‘She sounds delightful. I wish I could have met her.’
‘Likewise with Arturo.’
‘Thank you. I didn’t mean to get so melancholy on you earlier.’
‘Just having a bad day, eh?’ Jasper nodded. ‘I have them every now and then. Sometimes they creep up on you, other times it’s around special occasions, anniversaries, that sort of thing, but at least then I’m more prepared.’
‘So you have bad days, too?’ Jennifer was a little surprised at that. ‘I thought that was just me.’ For some reason this news made her feel better instantly. It was as though she wasn’t the only one who had bad days, days where she couldn’t stop thinking about Art, about what their life would have been like together.
‘I take it you didn’t attend grief counselling afterwards?’
‘I couldn’t. I’m not the sort of person who can lay myself open to complete strangers. Sara wanted me to go but…’ She shook her head. ‘I couldn’t. What I had with Art was private. Was about the two of us.’
‘I’ll bet you told yourself you were professionally trained to deal with grief, that you would figure it out sooner or later and that you didn’t need a bunch of head-shrinkers telling you what you already knew.’ As Jasper spoke, his words became softer, more personal, intimate. Jennifer watched him closely, noting the way his eyes had taken on a far-away look for a moment, as though he wasn’t quite there.
‘I take it you didn’t go to counselling either?’
‘No. Couldn’t. It was too…personal.’ He smiled and shook his head. ‘Perhaps we’re both over-achievers who think we know better?’
‘I know I am—well, an over-achiever at any rate.’ Her smile wasn’t forced now, it was natural, and Jasper was completely taken with the way it lit up her face. His eyes skimmed her face, taking in the high cheekbones, the small smattering of freckles across the nose and the long eyelashes. Her hair was pulled back into the usual bun and the itching inside him, that yearning he’d been fighting for some time, the need to pull the pins free, to let the locks fall from their constraints and frame her face in the glorious way he instinctively knew they would, was becoming more difficult to resist.
What had begun as a friendly offer of compassion from someone who’d experienced similar emotions had now rapidly turned into a deeper awareness of each other. Jennifer could see a slight scar on Jasper’s chin which she’d never noticed before. It was barely hidden beneath his unshaven face but she saw it. The urge to reach out and trace her finger over the scar, to touch it, to ask about it, was unnerving as well as ridiculous.