“This isn’t a game to be won or lost. There are things in my life that were set in motion before I took my first breath. I don’t have a choice in this. ”
“That’s bullshit. Everyone has choices and I’ve made mine. There is no way you’re leaving. ”
He’s so confident that part of me believes him. “I’m not?”
“Nope. Three months ago you had no roots here, but now, you’ve got them. ”
“Roots. ”
“Roots,” he repeats. “You’re on the homecoming court and starting to do well at school. My friends love you. You’re closer to Scott. You have a best friend in Lacy. ”
My mind races and so does my breathing. I made a life here—in Groveton. A life I enjoy. A life I could keep. Ryan draws me into him. He lowers his head as his fingers leave a burning path across my cheek. “You have me. ”
The pure emotion in his voice causes me to shiver. I could try to build a wall, but the intensity of his gaze tells me he’d see through anything. The seconds stretch between us. His lips come dangerously close to mine, yet he keeps them away. With his hand warm on my face, his nose skims my jawline and I try to inhale to steady my pulse.
Ryan tugs at the loops on my jeans and guides me back onto the bed. Taking my hand, he urges me to stretch out beside him.
His jeans hang right along his hip bones and I swallow.
I’m in love with him. Tonight I was going to give him a memory of me. I found the confidence and I was in control. My heart stutters. I lost my control. I lost my confidence.
My hand shakes as I touch his bare chest.
“I want you to trust me. ” Ryan brushes his hand down my arm and I tremble. The signals he sends are unmistakable. There are times when you stand on the cusp of moments so huge, you know you’ll remember them forever.
This is that moment for me and for Ryan. I’m not seducing him. He’s not seducing me.
Instead, we’re choosing to be together.
I suck in a breath and rush out the words before I lose the courage to say them. “I trust you. ” And please, please don’t use that against me.
“I’m in love with you,” he whispers.
“Are you scared?” I ask him. Because I am.
Terrified. Earlier I was anxious, but not frightened. This isn’t me giving him a memory.
This is me giving him my heart.
“I don’t want to hurt you. Tell me if I do and we’ll stop. ” Ryan slides his thumb over my lower lip. The warmth he creates melts the fear.
Unable to speak, I nod. In painfully slow movements, Ryan lowers his head closer and edges his body over me. His lips press gently against mine and as I gasp for air I whisper the words to him again. “I love you. ”
Ryan
I’VE NEVER BEEN THIS CLOSE to a person. Skin touching skin. Legs and arms wound tightly around one another. Lying on my bed, Beth’s tucked close to my chest and she slowly runs her fingernails up and down the inside of my arm.
I kiss her head again, revel in the scent of roses, and fight the urge to shut my eyes. Every single muscle has fallen asleep and my mind wanders lazily, but I want to hold on to this moment a little longer. “Are you sure I didn’t hurt you?”
She’s answered before, but the anxiety still creeps deep inside. Beth glances at me from under long dark eyelashes. “I’m okay. ”
The anxiety level increases. We went from fine to okay. “I hurt you. Tell me the truth. ”
“It burned some, but I’m okay. It’s not like you were…” and she drifts off.
Heat scorches my face and neck. It’s not like I was in for that long. “I’ll get better. It’ll take some practice and then we’ll both feel good. ”
Beth giggles and her happiness eases the anxiety. “Practice? Do you ever turn off the jock?”