"Done, your grace? Why nothing. We are not barbarians. We have heard nothing but good reports of your wife. She is upset, of course."
Vimes groaned. "And Detritus and Littlebottom?"
"Well, of course they were under your command, your grace. And one is a troll and the other is... dangerously different. And that is why, and precisely for that reason, they are under house arrest in your own embassy. We do respect the traditions of diplomacy and we will not have it said that we have acted out of malice." Dee sighed. "And then, of course, there is the other matter - "
"Are you going to accuse me of stealing the Scone, too?"
"You laid hands on the King."
Vimes stared. "Huh? A ton of candlestick was about to fall on him!"
"This has been pointed out - "
"And I"m imprisoned for saving him from an assassination attempt I planned?"
"Are you?"
"No! Look, the thing was coming down, what else should I have done? Tugged at the carpet and tried to drag him away?"
"Yes, yes, I understand. But precedent in this area is very clear. In 1345, when the king at the time fell into a lake, not one member of his staff dared touch him because of the ruling, and the subsequent finding was that they had acted correctly. It is forbidden to touch the King. I have of course explained to the conclave that this is not the Ankh-Morpork way, but this is not Ankh-Morpork."
"I don"t need everyone reminding me about that!"
"You will remain... our guest while investigations continue. Food and drink will be brought to you."
"And light?"
"Of course. Excuse our lack of consideration. Stand back from the door, please. The guards with me are armed and they are... uncomplicated people."
The grille on the door was swung back. A glowing cage was put on the ledge.
"What"s this? A sick glow-worm?"
"It is a kind of beetle, yes. You"ll find that it will very soon seem quite bright. We are very accustomed to darkness."
"Look," said Vimes, as the grille was shut again, "you know this is ridiculous! I don"t know what the position is with Mister Skimmer, but I damn well intend to find out! And there"s the Scone theft, I"m pretty certain I"m close to working that out, too. If you let me return to the embassy where else could I go?"
"We would not wish to find out. You may just feel that life would be more pleasant in Ankh-Morpork."
"Really? And how would we get there?"
"You may have friends in unexpected places."
Vimes thought of the evil little weapon in the pillow. "You will not be badly treated. This is our way" said Dee. "I will return when I have news."
"Hey - "
But Dee was a retreating shape in the crepuscular, almost-not-there light.
In Vimes"s cell the glow beetle was doing its best. All it managed to achieve, though, was to turn the darkness into a variety of green shadows. You could find your way around without walking into walls, but that was about the extent of it.
One shot, which they didn"t know you had.
That"d probably get him out of the door. Into a corridor. Underground. Full of dwarfs.
On the other hand, it was amazing how the evidence could stack up against you when people wanted it to.
Anyway, Vimes was an ambassador! What had happened to diplomatic immunity? But that was hard to argue when you were faced with uncomplicated people with weaponry; there was a risk that they"d experiment to see if it was true.