Worthless shrink. All that talking and he couldn’t do shit for me. If anything, things had gotten worse, and now I was having nightmares almost every night.
It also didn’t help when I was on a job site and started shaking or smelling gas leaks where they were none. The psychiatrist didn’t help, and taking some time off didn’t help, so I’d gone to my next plan: returning to my roots and old friends.
I blinked. My two large suitcases almost passed by me. Now not distracted by thought, I snatched them off the belt. Unlike the last time I’d come, no asshole was there to bother me.
The suitcases didn’t contain everything I owned, but they did hold everything important. If I couldn’t heal myself in Livingston, I was all out of ideas. I’d worry about that later, though.
An airport cop lingered near the edge of the crowd, a frown on his face, but he didn’t spare me a second glance. Still had all the tattoos and earrings as last time I’d come, but maybe he could sense my weakness and desperation. I wasn’t sure if I should be happy or mad about that.
After a quick glance around, I spotted Carl standing near a wall and waved to him. He waved back. I pulled my suitcases to him.
He rubbed his hands together and shifted in place like he was nervous. I couldn’t blame him. I’d gone from sending him a line or two every few months to barely talking to him for six months at a stretch.
I was a bad friend. I knew that. He probably didn’t want me to come but couldn’t work up the reasons to say no.
Carl came over and gave me a bro hug, patting me on the back. “Good to see you again.”
I wanted to believe he meant that, but I couldn’t be sure. Maybe it was my tired mind playing tricks on me.
“Good to see you, too, Carl.”
We didn’t say anything else as he led me to his truck in the parking lot. I was glad for it. I didn’t want to risk saying something rude.
“Thanks,” I finally said as we reached his truck. “I appreciate you finding some work for me on the ranch. I just need to get out of construction for a while.” I rubbed the back of my neck. “Get my head clear. Good old country air should do me good.”
“Yeah, bro, I can imagine you need a break after what you went through.” He opened the tailgate, and I tossed the suitcases in. “I just wish you would have told me about it sooner.”
“I didn’t want you to worry about me.” I shrugged. “You know me.”
“Yeah, I do. That’s the problem. You don’t have to take on the entire world by yourself, Alex.” He shrugged.
“I’m here, aren’t I?”
“Yeah, you are.” Carl smiled. “Anything I can do to help you out, bro.”
“You’re doing a lot already. I just want … I just need somewhere quiet to think about things.” I shrugged and walked around the other side of the truck to get into the passenger’s seat. “This isn’t anything more than that. Livingston’s a good place to re
lax.”
Once Carl was in and had started up the truck, he turned to me. “You know I feel you on that. I loved this place so much, I never left.” He pulled out of the parking spot. “Maybe you’ll like it so much, you’ll stay.”
“I don’t know about that.”
Carl chuckled. “Well, keep an open mind.”
We fell into silence for the next few minutes. I wasn’t sure what he was thinking. Maybe about what a bad idea it was to hire me or ways to convince me to stay there permanently. I couldn’t be sure, but I was more grateful than I could probably express, even if I were nervous about things as is.
It had nothing to do with Carl. It wasn’t like I’d ever been that great at expressing my feelings. My dad always taught me a man handles his own problems. I wonder if that helped destroy him in the end.
“Is my dad’s old place still for sale?” I said. “You said it was a while back.”
“Oh, I think so. Not sure. I don’t get over to that side of town as much as I used to.”
I nodded slowly. “Maybe I’ll swing by sometime. Just for old time’s sake.”
My dad sold the place right before I went to college. Originally, he’d had a plan to move out of town and follow me. Instead, he ended up renting a tiny apartment and investing the money in some real estate stock deal after I’d left for school. It was supposed to be for some big inheritance for me. He then moved to Phoenix, thinking he was going to live on easy street in the land of sun.
Dad had been a good carpenter but not a great businessman. The whole thing had collapsed, and he lost most of his money.