I stared at the wall for a moment, blinking back tears. I’d thought he had changed. I knew it was a stupid thought to have, I knew that I should never have expected so much from him, but I’d really thought that things were going to be better between us. That he was the good man my father seemed to think he was.
I’d been foolish.
“Okay.” There was nothing else I could say. “Have a good day.” I hung up the phone before he could say anything else.
I refused to let the tears fall, as much as I wanted to let them out. He didn’t deserve those tears. I had worked so hard to get over him. I shouldn’t be crying over him again.
Finally, I grabbed my phone and called Julie. “Hey,” I said, trying to sound cheery, but afraid I was sounding miserable and fake. “What are you up to tonight?”
Sure enough, Julie sounded suspicious. “Just planning on seeing the fireworks,” she said. “But I don’t have anyone to see them with. Come with me?”
“Yeah. Sure. Let’s go together,” I suggested with false cheeriness. “That’d be fun, wouldn’t it?”
“Definitely,” she said. She paused. “Are you all right, Vanessa? You sound kind of off.”
“I’m fine,” I told her. “Just have some stuff going on. If you wouldn’t mind, I could use someone to talk to as we watch the fireworks. No one’s died, and it’s not the end of the world. I just need some girl time with someone who isn’t going to judge me.”
“Sure thing,” she agreed easily. I guessed she already knew I wanted to talk about Trethan.
That evening, I paired a festive red-and-white hoodie with blue jeans and went to meet Julie at the park. She was there before me, and I navigated the crowd, trying to spot her amongst the other people who’d already spread out their blankets on the grass. Finally, I found her, and I beelined in that direction, dropping down to sit beside her.
“All right, something is definitely up,” Julie said, eyeing me closely.
I widened my eyes at her. “What do you mean?”
She shook her head. “You’re here for fireworks, and yet from your expression, you’d think you were attending a funeral or something,” she said. “Come on, spit it out. What’s up?”
I sighed and ducked my head. “Should have known I couldn’t hide things from you,” I said.
“Well, we always were best friends,” she reminded me. “Besides, you told me you needed to talk. So obviously something is bothering you.”
I paused for a moment, gathering my thoughts. “It’s Trethan,” I said finally.
“Of course, it is,” she sighed.
I shrugged. “You know there’s chemistry there. There’s always going to be chemistry there. And with him working on the ranch with my dad, it’s not like I could really avoid him.”
“Of course, you couldn’t. But what happened? Don’t tell me the two of you slept together or something.”
“It’s worse than that,” I told her.
Julie’s eyes widened. “You’re not pregnant, are you? I mean, that’s wonderful news if you are because-”
“I’m not pregnant,” I interrupted before she could profess too much love for my unborn child. But I sighed. “Trethan and I were supposed to go on a date this afternoon. Nothing too special, just a picnic. Just like we used to do every Fourth of July.”
“Okay,” Julie said slowly. “So it’s either one of two things: you went on the picnic and realized you’re still madly in love with him, only you’re not sure how to explain that to your father. Or else you didn’t go on the picnic with him, and you’re upset about that.”
“We didn’t go on the picnic,” I said, not even bothering to comment how accurate her assessment of the situation was before she even had any of the details.
“And, I’m guessing that you weren’t the one who canceled,” she said. “Oh Lord.” She opened her arms and pulled me into a hug.
For the second time that day, I felt close to tears, and I couldn’t hold back a soft sniffle. “I thought he had changed,” I whispered. “I know you probably want to say ‘I told you so’ because you were the one who told me he was still drinking and doing whatever else. But I really was starting to think he had changed.”
“Oh no,” she said, sounding sad. “Honey, I’m so sorry.”
I shook my head and pulled away. “It was stupid of me to get my hopes up,” I said, shrugging. I ducked my head and bit my lip. “It just feels like nothing is working out for me at the moment. I’m back home in White Bluff. I can’t find the money to open up the gallery. And now this whole thing with Trethan has fallen through, too.”
“I thought you were happy to be back here?” she asked, sounding surprised.