Nate and I had established a mutual respect by the end of our first week together. I did as he asked and made sure to eat meals and tried to sleep the best I could in the evenings, and Nate got my garden started for me so I could work on planting some vegetables.
Gardening wasn’t something that I knew about, really. I had just enjoyed the garden so much at the treatment center that I wanted to try my hand at one of my own. Well sort of my own, it was Nate’s house and I wasn’t delusional; I knew that sooner or later I was going to have to leave the place I was now calling home.
Working with my hands in the dirt of the garden was like a form of meditation for me. I could move up and down the rows as I planted seeds and then fertilized one section at a time. As the seeds started to grow, I went out there daily to water them, and I spent hours weeding the garden area, and even a little around Nate’s house.
For me, gardening was my way of thinking and working through everything that was going on for me. It didn’t seem like work at all. Instead, it was my relaxation and I wanted Nate’s home to feel as much like my home as it could for the time being.
Home was such a foreign concept to me lately. I hadn’t had a place I considered my own for a very long time. But Nate’s house felt like I belonged there. The huge trees protected over us during the day and at night they seemed to clear out of the way and let us look up into the sky.
Nate was great with me, and we had been nothing but appropriate with each other since the night I kissed him. He had projects he was always working on around the house and I found things to do as well. I had started to get used to this routine when the weekend came and Jordan and Chase arrived for a visit.
I felt better than ever when they came to visit us though. I hadn’t had many episodes of feeling out of control at all during the week. Nate and I went running each morning and then split and did our own thing for most of the afternoons. Sometimes I would even stay on the front porch for hours and hours reading books and watching Nate as he worked on his building projects.
For as angry as I had been at Jordan and Chase for wanting me to come to Nate’s house, I knew it was the right decision. And when Jordan started going on and on about how noisy it was with all the construction at her house, that just confirmed everything for me.
“Do you want to see the vegetable garden I’ve been working on?” I asked Jordan, unable to hold back my pride for any longer.
“You planted a vegetable garden?”
Jordan knew me very well. She knew that I had bought a plant for my apartment and forgot to water it for an entire week until it had died. Jordan knew me almost better than I knew myself so it was understandable that she looked a little shocked when we walked around the house and I showed her the huge garden that Nate had prepared for me.
“I’ve been planting the seeds very carefully; they should be sprouting some tiny growths soon. I’m not really sure what to do after that, though.”
“Ana, this is awesome. You look incredible. It’s so nice to see you smiling again.”
“Thanks. Nate has been wonderful. We’ve been running along that trail every morning and he’s super adorable and tries to keep up with me, but I always win.”
“Adorable,” Jordan said as she made a funny face at me.
I hadn’t realized the word would make me feel so uncomfortable. But the way Jordan was looking at me made me feel embarrassed.
“I didn’t mean it like that.”
“So, are you two a thing now?” she continued on.
“No, we aren’t a thing,” I said louder than I meant to.
“Oh, did she tell you about their kiss?” Chase said as he and Nate came around the corner.
I saw Nate reach for Chase’s arm as if he wanted him to stop talking, but Chase
just continued on.
“Can you believe these two? Before we know it, we will be watching them get married and having their own kids. What a cute couple they are.”
The look of absolute horror on my face was impossible to hide. My whole chest and face were a brilliant red color, and I looked at Jordan in the hopes that she would rescue me from the situation. She had to be able to tell from my face that what Chase was saying needed to stop.
Please just make him stop.
“How about we butt out of their business?” Jordan interjected. “Nate, when do you leave for your job?”
“One more week, but don’t worry, I’m teaching Ana how to kill someone with her bare hands. So, she’ll be fine here alone.”
Nate didn’t seem nearly as embarrassed by the conversation as I had been. He let it roll right off of him as they moved on to talking about his work and his upcoming job.
I hated to think about Nate leaving. His house was comforting to me, it was safe. I couldn’t imagine feeling as safe without him there. Most likely I would have to head over to Jordan and Chase’s house, and I wasn’t looking forward to that at all. Jordan was getting ready to have her baby and I would certainly be in the way there.
“Oh, yeah, Nate, I need to talk to you about something,” Chase said as he pulled Nate to the side.