Prologue
The fake smile I had plastered on my face for the past two hours was starting to wear me down. I stood in the window like I had been instructed to do and I would give my little peep show to the small crowds or single parties that would gather outside my glass box without revealing anything that must be paid for.
I hated having those greedy, lustful eyes on me day after day, night after night, but this was the best bargain I could strike in my new home. To be put on display but not to be touched unless I wished it.
A small piece of good fortune granted to me by my new owner. But certain things bothered me. If I had been traded, would I never be able to pay my family’s debt to Kerstan? Did he get the money for my standing in the window being a sexual display? Did he get the money on the nights I would have sexual encounters when I knew I needed the money to pay for my – their debts?
A tap on the window stole my thoughts as I looked at the young man who was standing outside the window. It was him; my new owner and he didn’t look too pleased that I had lost my smile or stopped showcasing myself. I immediately manifested the “sincere” smile and began to move seductively in my small space.
Luuk was not a kind man and knowing that his was unhappy with me right now, made me wish that I was still in Kerstan’s home. At least he never punished us too severely. Except for Lieve, for some reason he took out a lot of our errors on her and I remember days where she would walk with her head held high into the rooms even though her eyes told us she was in pain. Kerstan didn’t care for Lieve as a person and we knew it.
Oddly though by the time I was traded it seemed like he was starting to become haunted with thoughts of her. He and Luuk had argued quite a bit about her when he brought me to him and they both left very angry. I, of course, had to endure the punishment of Luuk’s anger. I wasn’t able to walk for three days.
Yes. I would say that I definitely prefer Kerstan.
I turned around as I ran my hands up and down my body, spinning slowly in a circle. Twice I did this to get the attention of passersby and when I attempted the third turn, the door that held me into my glass confinement opened and Luuk yanked me out.
“I’m sorry,” I said frantically. Tears sprang to my eyes and I was filled with fear. I hadn’t made an error in weeks because I feared his punishments so much.
“Don’t be sorry,” he said quietly. “I needed to remove you from the window for a few moments.”
Luuk; the foreigner who lived in the Netherlands under a Dutch name escaping from something we knew nothing about and knew better than to ask of.
My response was a nod as he led me into one of the backrooms. I sat down in the chair he told me to sit in as he began to pace back and forth in front of me. Periodic glances at the open door where I had been encased in made me curious. Was something going to happen that he didn’t want me to see? He took me out of the windows but not the other girls. Yes; whatever this was, was directed at me and I wanted to know now more than ever what it was.
I shifted a little in the chair so that I could look out into the busy Amsterdam dusk without Luuk noticing. I watched as he walked toward the door and stood in front of it, hands on either side and watching intently.
“Have I displeased you?” I asked timidly.
“Did I tell you to speak?” he asked sharply, glancing back at me.
Finally after some more inspection of the outside world, he closed the door to my box and told me that I was done for the day. He told me that he was going to take me back to the house and that he would give me tomorrow as a rest day. I hadn’t had a rest day in ten days and I was actually taken back by his small generous gesture. Unlike Kerstan though, I knew that any generousness coming from Luuk was always met with an even bigger take.
One
We arrived in Luuk’s home no less than an hour later. The only reason it took so long was because he had his driver move very slowly and circle certain city blocks. I was convinced that entire painfully, long ride that he was going to strangle me and have his driver dump the body.
Leaving the house with Luuk and no one else usually meant that you were used up and either being set free or killed. The only reason you knew which was which, was because he would subject you to what I called a mental deconstruction so that you live in a semi-permanent fearful state that if you so much as thought of the house or him, he would kill you. That was a two week rigorous process. If he was going to have you killed (which he rarely did himself) he would just ask you to go for a drive with him. Refusal would be the only reason Luuk would get his hands dirty and it would always be out of a fit of rage. Like a young child throwing a deadly temper tantrum at not getting what they wanted.
He pushed the front doors to his manor open and signaled for me to follow. Where else am I going to go, I thought miserably.
Minikin greeted us as closely to the door as she dared. It was a bold move on her part, even though she was still at least twenty feet away. She had her hands clasped in front of her and she was looking at me with relief washed all over her face. I nodded as I followed Luuk past her. She knew I was still alive and I knew that would offer her some comfort.
We came to the main staircase, Luuk and I, and climbed it to the third floor. This was the floor that belonged solely to him and even though Kerstan seemed to be much more prosperous than him, he had more material things and a bigger home. When we finally reached the door to his room he turned around and faced me.
“You will not be spending the night with me. I do not wish you to come into my room, but this is the only place that we will have some modicum of privacy. Tell me why you think I pulled you out of work so early,” he said, crossing his arms over his chest.
“I don’t know, Luuk,” I replied after a few moments of thoughtful silence.
He dropped his arms and looked down for a moment. It almost seemed as if what he knew what he was going to say was going to cut me like the deepest wound. It seemed like he actually gave a sliver of a damn as to how terribly this would hurt me.
“Betje, I have received word from Kerstan’s house,” he said slowly.
It was my turn to cross my arms over my chest. I began to tap my foot impatiently wh