She ripped her hand from my hold and stepped away, her chin quivering. “Get out.”
“There is nothing wrong with enjoying pleasure.”
She cut her eyes to mine, and a tear fell. “I have no problem with pleasure. I have a problem getting it from you.”
I smirked. “Keep telling yourself that, baby. The only problem here. Is you?” As I turned around, my cocky smile faded because her quiet sobs made my ears ring. Maybe it was best if I gave her space.
It was the last thing I wanted. She’s had ten years of space. Why the hell was she fighting me so much? Maybe I was wrong, maybe it wasn’t about making her see the truth, perhaps she knew it, and she truly wanted nothing to do with me.
There weren’t many times where I was wrong, and I was man enough to admit the times where I was. Even as the thought entered my mind of her wanting nothing to do with me, I knew in my gut that she did. Her response to me, the pull between us, it was undeniable.
She fought a losing battle.
I was going to win the war.
I walked away without a second glance back because I knew if I did, I’d fall at her feet. I had to keep my strength when it came to Quinn. The glass cracked under my shoes again as I left the room, turning the lock in time before the door shut.
“Did you woo her?” Ingrid asked, leaning against the wall. She didn’t look up from her nails as she still filed them.
Nosey old woman.
“Something like that,” I said and moved around Ingrid to get to my door. My cock was killing me, and I needed release. Entering the guest room, I locked this door as well, then unzipped my pants to grip my cock and ease the ache. I was on the edge after her orgasm and how she responded to me.
But the two-way mirror caught my eye, and I saw her lying face down on the bed, shoulder shaking as she cried. My reflection stared back at me, showing the man that climbed his way out of hell for this woman, only to cause her pain.
What kind of man did that make me?
I turned away from the glass and tucked myself back in my jeans.
There was nothing pleasurable about seeing her cry. I knew it wasn’t because of the spankings, but the bigger picture. Us. The truth.
Her love for me was her truth. As painful as it might be, she needed to realize it because, in the end, a lie didn’t help either one of us.
Ten years with me would turn into the rest of her life; I believed that. That was my truth.
Chapter Eleven
Quinn
The next day, I woke before the sunrise, and stared out the window to watch the sky turn from black to dark blue, and now orange. Seagulls flew low by the bottom of the cliffs, and the waves were angry, hammering the shore with massive tenacity against the rocks. The ocean rocked, back and forth, and with each contact a wave made, I felt a rising similarity with the water in that moment.
I was so angry.
Believe it or not, I wasn’t angry at Jaxon; I was angry at myself. Jaxon always knew what I needed, how to bend me without breaking, and it reminded me of how he pushed the limit, but never crossed it. I couldn’t believe I was admitting that. Brian was somewhere in this house, a place I have yet to explore, and I orgasmed while he was being tortured. I assumed he was being tortured. I was a horrible wife.
Wait. Was I even married? I had no idea. We had a wedding. A shit show of a wedding, but it was a ceremony, nonetheless.
Or a funeral.
Also, a part of me didn’t care. I didn’t want to be married to him, not after what Jaxon had said about Brian using me for my money. I didn’t believe in prenups. What was mine would be my husband’s. I guess I was traditional in a way. And after being near Jaxon for all of three days, I knew what it felt like to have my body yearn again.
I never felt the sizzling heat for Brian that I felt for Jaxon. Ever. I thought I was broken; that something was wrong with me. I blamed it on my depression because after Tracy’s death and Jaxon getting arrested; I fell into a low mental place.
Now that I was with him again, I saw I wasn’t as depressed as I thought I was. I was just miserable with Brian, not with his friendship, but as a lover.
Exhaling, I rubbed my temples when a headache started to pound at the front of my skull. This entire situation was too stressful. I wanted… I didn’t know what I wanted. I was more confused than I had been last week.
Last week.