God, that was a lifetime ago. How could things change so fast? How can life just beat the hell out of you one week and the next you’re on cloud nine? I was not on cloud nine. I was in the negative. Life was giving me hit after hit, and I was tempted to roll over and show my belly.
I never stood a chance against Jaxon. He knew me better than I knew myself. It had been that way from the moment we met. I would think that having ten years go by would change a person, but no, the feelings between us were the same.
I was starting to doubt that he killed his sister. He said he was waiting for me to accept his offer, but what if I waited to see if he gave Brian the torture he deserved for killing his pregnant girlfriend?
If Brian did.
I was fighting the past, present, and future all at once. And the common denominator in all of them was Jaxon.
The truth.
That was all I needed. All of this could be put to rest if I knew the truth.
A knock at the door came again like it always did in the mornings. I never knew who to expect. There was Ingrid, Heaven, some grouchy guy named Owen brought me dinner, and a few others that I didn’t bother learning their names.
I was getting stir crazy.
“Come in,” I said for the first time since being here. I was exhausted. I had a feeling I’d agree to anything today. I hated feeling so defeated.
“Good Morning.” The timber of Jaxon’s voice had the spot on my ass cheek burning again from yesterday’s punishment.
Was its punishment since I got to orgasm?
I crossed my arms over my chest and turned around to greet him. “Morning,” I said simply. I wasn’t about to lie and say something was good about it when I had no idea.
Jaxon looked flawless, as usual, today. His hair was slicked back again, a style that must be his favorite, and he wore a long-sleeve eggplant-colored button-up shirt that made his skin seem tanner than it really was. The deep purple color was beautiful against his dark features. His dress pants were black, and he had a black belt with a gold clasp in the front. If I knew what a mafia boss looked like, I’d say Jaxon fit the description. His muscles stretched the shirt until the buttons across his chest slightly pulled. I bet if he breathed wrong, they would pop one-by-one.
And I bet his body was a true sight after not seeing it for ten years.
“I want to apologize to you,” he said, shoving his hands in his pockets. He rocked on his feet and took a step forward, then stopped again. “I shouldn’t have done what I did yesterday. You have every right to be upset with me.”
Well, I was not expecting an apology. I’ve never heard him apologize a day in his life. “It’s fine,” I said, my voice barely above a whisper, keeping my voice solemn.
“It isn’t. If you’re up for it, I’d like to give you a tour of the house and take you shopping. I don’t want you to feel like a prisoner in this house.”
“Why? I thought that’s what I was.”
“This house is your home,” he said
, an earnest expression taking over his features. He honestly believed that. How many times had he told him that this was my home?
I struggled to understand that statement. I couldn’t have a home here under these circumstances. I decided, for now, I’d let the comment slide. “I’d like a tour and some coffee, please. I’m getting tired of wearing pajamas. I feel so lazy,” I huffed, trying to lighten the tension between us.
Why the hell did I care? Try and remember the bad things. He killed his sister, he kidnapped you, ruined your wedding.
More like saving me from a horrible wedding, but the other two reasons were still up for debate. “I’d like to see Brian today. I want to know if he really wanted to use me.”
Jaxon’s eyes rounded, white as moons, and he gave a slight jerk of his head. “I don’t want you talking to him,” he said. “If he sees you, he will lie.”
What was the difference between truth and lies? The line was starting to get smaller and smaller until it blurred. Which side was the correct side? According to Jaxon, I had been living on the wrong side. Brian made me believe something else for so long, how did I get past it if everything from the last ten years was a lie?
The last thing I wanted to believe was that I was brainwashed.
“You look…” he started to say, then stopped.
“A mess,” I added for him. “It’s fine. I’m not trying to impress anyone.” Another lie. No matter the emotions, positive and negative I had toward Jaxon, I wanted to impress him. I must really be losing my mind.
“You’re a beautiful mess,” he said with a serious sincerity I had never seen from him before. He cleared his throat, brought his fist to his mouth, and coughed. “Well, let’s go.” He stretched out his arm toward the door, and I began to walk toward him.