My voice involuntarily rose an octave. “What, are you crazy? I'm not going after Ranger!”
“That's the beauty of it,” Vinnie said. “You don't have to go after him. He'll come to you. He's got a thing for you.”
“No! No way. Forget it.”
“Fine,” Vinnie said, “you don't want the job, I'll put Joyce on it.”
Joyce Barnhardt is my archenemy. Ordinarily, I'd eat dirt before I'd give anything up to Joyce. In this case, Joyce could take it. Let her spend her time spinning her wheels, looking for the invisible man.
“So what else have you got?” I asked Connie.
“Two minors and a real stinker.” She passed three folders over to me. “Since Ranger isn't available I'm going to have to give the stinker to you.”
I flipped the top file open. Morris Munson. Arrested for vehicular manslaughter. “Could be worse,” I said. “Could be a homicidal rapist.”
“You didn't read down far enough,” Connie said. “After this guy ran over the victim, who just happened to be his ex-wife, he beat her with a tire iron, raped her, and tried to set her on fire. He was charged with vehicular manslaughter because according to the M.E. she was already dead when he took the tire iron to her. He had her soaked in gasoline and was trying to get his Bic to work when a blue-and-white happened to drive by.”
Little black dots danced in front of my eyes. I sat down hard on the fake-leather couch and put my head between my legs.
“You okay?” Lula asked.
“Probably it's just low blood sugar,” I said. Probably it's my job.
“It could be worse,” Connie said. “It says here he wasn't armed. Just bring your gun along, and I'm sure you'll be fine.”
“I can't believe they let him out on bail!”
“Go figure,” Connie said. “Guess they didn't have any more room at the inn.”
I looked up at Vinnie, who was still standing in the doorway to his private office. “You wrote bail on this maniac?”
“Hey, I'm not a judge. I'm a businessman. He didn't have any priors,” Vinnie said. “And he has a good job working at the button factory. Homeowner.”
“And now he's gone.”
“Didn't show up for his court date,” Connie said. “I called the button factory, and they said last they saw him was Wednesday.”
“Have they heard from him at all? Did he call in sick?”
“No. Nothing. I called his home number and got his machine.”
I glanced at the other two files. Lenny Dale, missing in action, charged with domestic violence. And Walter “Moon Man” Dunphy, wanted for drunk and disorderly and urinating in a public place.
I tucked the three folders into my shoulder bag and stood. “Page me if you hear anything on Ranger.”
“Last chance,” Vinnie said. “I swear I'll give his file to Joyce.”
I took a doughnut from the box, gave the box over to Lula, and left. It was March and the snowstorm was having a hard time working itself up into anything serious. There was some slush on the street, and a layer of ice had accumulated on my windshield and my passenger-side windows. There was a large blurry object behind the window. I squinted through the ice. The blurry object was Joe Morelli.
Most women would have an orgasm on the spot to find Morelli sitting in their car. He had that effect. I'd known Morelli for most of my life, and I almost never had an on-the-spot orgasm, anymore. I needed at least four minutes.
He was wearing boots and jeans and a black fleece jacket. The tails of a red plaid flannel shirt hung under the jacket. Under the flannel shirt he wore a black T-shirt and a .40-caliber Glock. His eyes were the color of aged whiskey and his body was a testament to good Italian genes and hard work at the gym. He had a reputation for living fast, and the reputation was well deserved but dated. Morelli focused his energy on his job now.
I slid behind the wheel, turned the key in the ignition, and cranked up the defroster. I was driving a six-year-old blue Honda Civic that was perfectly good transportation but didn't enhance my fantasy life. Hard to be Xena, Warrior Princess in a six-year-old Civic.
“So,” I said to Morelli, “what's up?”
“You going after Ranger?”