"I'll go with you, Mom."
Eyes wide, I panic inside and snap my attention to Natalie, who gives me a pleading look. I can't refuse it either, seeing as I'm now harboring a scandalous secret that's going to haunt me until the end of time.
"My dad loves this boring talk, so you guys are perfect for each other. I'll be back soon."
Natalie pats my shoulder, then scampers off with her mom. James watches until they turn the corner, then he looks at me.
I turn away, unable to make eye contact with him. I lean against the bar and signal for another drink, a double this time. James is facing the crowd, whereas my back is to it, but he's close enough that I can smell him and feel him without us even touching, and it awakens something inside of me I haven't felt since the last time I was with him.
Thirty-Seven
"And here I thought I'd never see you again," James says under his breath, only loud enough for me to hear.
Chills dance down my arms and I hate that my body reacts to the sound of his voice.
I thank the bartender and take a huge sip.
"That was the plan,” I say. "Man, is fate cruel. It always has a way of fucking me and never leaving me satisfied."
"Fate is definitely on my side tonight."
"You would think that."
He’s quiet for a moment. “Why'd you do it?" he asks, his voice guttural, pained.
Fuck, my heart. I know what he's referring to. His voice screams pissed but his question stirs my blood.
I angle my body toward him and look up, defiant. "Are you really going to ask me that?"
"I tried to find you."
Unbelievable. "I'm glad you couldn't."
He stares down at me. "Why?"
My throat is tight, choking with emotion. The way he’s looking at me—pleading with me—kills me, but I stand firm. I did what I had to do and I have no regrets.
I think.
“You know exactly why, James. Promise me, right now, that Natalie will never find out what happened between us. She's my best friend and one of the few people I have left in my life. I will not lose her." He doesn’t respond. "James, please. Promise me."
His nostrils flare. "Does she work there too?"
My stomach drops and I realize I can never, ever let the truth about that get out. I'd rather Natalie know about James and me before James ever found out that his daughter is a prostitute, high-end or not.
"No,” I say forcefully. “She doesn’t even know what I do, and she never will."
James bobs his head, clearly relieved. He finishes his drink and orders us both a cognac. I can’t blame him for drinking back-to-back. I feel like I need to be put out of my misery too.
"My offer still stands, you know."
I scoff, a heated breath rolling off my lips. "Wow. You're such a fucking dirt bag to say that at a time like this, with your family, your wife, in the same room."
He looks at me like I offended him. "Why? Was I a dirt bag to you before you knew the truth? You knew I was married. Nothing has changed."
My eyes widen in surprise.
"You have to know that offer is forever off the table now. I would never do that to Natalie. Speaking of, why do guys have different last names? Is she not your biological daughter?"