Hold Me Close (Bridgewater County 4)

“Rachel dumped us.”

He jerked upright as if cattle prodded. “What?” His voice practically shook the walls. He stood, began to pace. “What? Why? Why didn’t you tell me right away? I would have come back, I would have—”

“Walked away from your dream?” I asked quietly. “I tried calling, you fucker. But this wasn’t something I was going to leave in a message. Besides, how was I supposed to know you’d come to your senses in time and realize what you’ve got here is pretty great. Better than that. Perfect.” I thought of Rachel when she smiled up at me, so open, so trusting. Yeah, we’d fucked up.

“What I had here.” He groaned and dropped his head into his hands. “This is my fault. Again, dammit. I knew she was fragile, wary of trusting us—me, in particular. I should never have run off like that.”

Much as I agreed with him, what was past was past. I wanted to punch him in the face, but that wasn’t going to solve anything. Yeah, it would make me feel better, but not by much. The only way I’d feel better is if we got Rachel back.

“Maybe not,” I replied. “But now that you’re here, you’re the only one who can fix this. I’ve tried. Trust me. So stop sitting here moaning and come with me to get our woman back.”

***

RACHEL

I knew who was knocking on my front door before I even looked through my peephole. It was too late for Emmy to be out paying a visit, and the rest of my siblings would have been in bed an hour ago. Besides, no one in my family ever knocked like they were going to ram the door down if I didn’t open.

My heart was practically beating out of my chest as I stood there, fingers on the door knob. I ached to open it, to launch myself in Ethan’s arms. But I was also steeling myself for another lecture from him. When the pounding began again, I jumped, then threw the door open. I blinked up in surprise when I nearly collided with Matt, who didn’t wait to be asked in. In fact, he picked me up, his hands on my waist and carried me inside as if I were a package. He put me on my feet and stepped back as Ethan closed the door. Both men looked at me and while it was my house and they’d just barged in, I nearly burst into tears right then and there.

It had been torture turning Ethan away again and again. Those talks had sapped every ounce of my willpower and energy and it had been so hard to not change my mind. I wanted to be with them, but I also didn’t want to hold them back. I loved them too much for that.

It wasn’t just Ethan standing before me now, but Matt, too. He looked as weary as I felt, but I saw intent in his gaze as he focused it squarely on me. Shit. I had no idea how I could remain strong with both of them in my living room, and looking so stubborn and determined.

I wrapped my arms around myself, wishing I had on clothes appropriate for doing battle. My comfy cotton tank top and shorts that I wore to bed didn’t exactly lend me an air of cold reserve.

Sure enough, I watched Matt’s gaze move over my thighs that the short-shorts did nothing to hide. Ethan, meanwhile, seemed fixated on my breasts. Even though I’d crossed my arms, I was absolutely certain they could both see I wasn’t wearing a bra.

I shifted from one foot to the other, trying to ignore the heat coursing through me at their possessive perusal. Like they owned this body and had every right to look…and touch.

And they did own it. They’d claimed me body and soul. I would always be theirs.

But they wouldn’t be mine. That thought had me looking away, glancing down at my hot pink toenails. I had to remind myself of that over and over. It was the only thing keeping me from selfishly running back to them and letting them take care of me and this baby rather than focusing on their own lives. Their own dreams which didn’t include me.

Matt moved closer, his long, lean body tense and powerful as he approached, a predator stalking his prey. He dropped his hat on the coffee table beside me. I noticed the whiskers on his jaw, the tired lines on his face. I swallowed and tried to move away but the backs of my legs collided with my couch.

“What’s this I hear about you ending our relationship?” he growled.

Oh shit. If my men ever pulled the good cop, bad cop routine, Matt would be bad cop every single time. The ridiculous part was, even as I swallowed down my nerves, my shorts grew wet and my nipples hardened.

I’d always been a sucker for his bossy voice, and he knew it.

I licked my lips. I might have been going crazy for wanting these men, but one glance at the front of their jeans and it was clear the feeling was mutual. They wanted me just as much as I wanted them.

I shook my head. Desire had never been the issue between the three of us. Attraction and passion we had in spades. In butt plugs and spankings.

But desire didn’t equal commitment.

“I think it’s for the best,” I said for what must have been the hundredth time. Before I could go on with the rest of my spiel, Matt interrupted.

“Tell me why.”

“Having a baby is a big commitment. I can’t ask you guys to—”

“Nobody’s asking,” Ethan said. He paced my living room, looking like a caged animal. I knew he was frustrated. He’d been trying to win me back for days, but I knew he was only doing it because of the verbal commitment he’d made and the responsibility he felt toward me.

“He’s right,” Matt added. “You’re not asking us to commit to you—we made that choice the moment we met you.”

I tried to stay quiet, but the words finally came out. “Yes, but you made a mistake. It’s okay to admit that.”