Lexi’s hand closed around Rubi’s arm. She didn’t know why the touch startled her, but she flinched and turned to Lexi’s surprised, questioning gaze. “You had sex at your house?”
Splinters of heat and pressure scattered through her belly. “Yeah. ”
Rubi had never brought a man to the house. Ever. She needed the control of being able to leave when she was ready. And the house was her personal space. Her and Rodie’s sanctuary. She didn’t want men showing up without an invitation, expecting her to give in to a bootie call.
Only, fuck, wasn’t that just what she’d allowed Wes to do last night?
Lexi’s hand slid from Rubi’s arm, dragging her—feeling a little drunk, and not in a good way—from the realization.
“Well, that’s…interesting. ” Lexi drew out the word.
Rubi crossed her arms so tight over her chest, a tug of pain shot through the girls. “You sound like my goddamned psychotherapist. ”
A suspicious, sly look narrowed Lexi’s eyes. “What other boundaries are you letting Wes trample on?”
Rubi’s mind immediately veered to the night before.
“I want to be different, Rubi. I want to feel you. Every inch of you. ”
That drunk sensation deepened until Rubi’s stomach twinged the way it did when she’d had one too many.
“We…didn’t use a condom. ” Rubi lifted her hand to her forehead and found it damp. “Isn’t it hot out here? Let’s go inside. ” She turned and took giant strides toward the living room’s French doors, craving a cool sweep of air-conditioning.
“Rubi. ”
She ignored Lexi’s confused call, stepped through the doors, and closed her eyes, absorbing the settling sensation of refrigerated air on her damp skin.
“You’re on birth control,” Lexi asked. “Right?”
“Of course. ” The words came in an irritated, lightheaded rush. “That’s not the problem. ”
Lexi’s frown turned suspicious again. “Then what’s the problem?”
Now that Lexi had voiced the more severe consequences of Rubi’s condom-challenged sexual encounter, she found herself, once again, feeling like an emotional hypochondriac.
“It’s just…this thing I have. I’ve always used a condom. Ever since I started having sex. Always. ” Rubi dropped into a sofa. “It’s… I don’t know…a layer of protection, you know, in a different way. Like…a psychological way. ”
Lexi’s posture softened, and her gaze widened with understanding. “Oooooh. Got it. ”
Christ she was sick. Beyond sick, now she was scared. Before now, without Lexi shining a spotlight on every little thing Rubi had done with Wes, she had been able to push them into the background. Now she worried over the message she’d sent Wes by letting the issue slide when she could have reached out of the shower and simply grabbed one from a drawer. Two seconds. Max.
“I want to be different, Rubi. ”
He’d been different from the fucking start.
“Scary,” Lexi said, her voice soft with their shared fears. She lifted her hands to indicate the house. “I know. ”
“But that’s the difference—you move through it. You live it. I put up walls, create detours. It’s like my feet are stuck in concrete. Wes terrifies me, Lex. He’s… God. ” She turned her gaze back out over the city. A knife twisted in Rubi’s chest. Emotions rose and swirled in her head. Anxiety crawled over her skin. Terror closed in. “I can’t do it. I just can’t…”
“Jump?” Lexi drew in a breath that raised her shoulders, then slowly blew it out as she gazed out over LA. “What if we jump together?”
Lexi didn’t wait for Rubi to answer. She pulled her phone from her pocket with one hand and covered Rubi’s hand on the railing with the other. Tapping one number on her phone, she dialed, then touched the Speaker icon.
“You miss me already, don’t you?” Jax’s rich, sexy voice came over the line. “Change your mind about the terrace? I’ll turn around right now. ”
The grin that lit up Lexi’s face made Rubi’s heart swell. That was happiness. And seeing Lexi happy thrilled Rubi. She knew Lexi wanted to see Rubi just as happy. She just didn’t think a man was the ticket.
“Yes, I miss you already,” Lexi said. “And yes, I’ve changed my mind about the terrace. But Rubi’s right, we can’t christen it until you own it. ”