“Marriage changes us all. Even you altered in so many ways,” Rebecca noted.
“I did not.”
“Oh, your habit of bringing home strays waned for a little while, but the impulse resumed once you didn’t have Rivers to disapprove. During your marriage, you let longstanding friendships fall by the wayside. Was that a choice you made consciously, or did it just happen because his interests lied elsewhere.”
Fanny gaped. “Are you done criticizing me yet?”
“It is a criticism I have laid at my own door. I changed because of Warner. I became critical of everything and everyone because of how he treated me. His actions brought to light every insecurity I possessed. I’m surprised anyone could stand me.”
“You weren’t so bad.”
“I was a mean-spirited bitch,” Rebecca confessed.
Fanny opened her mouth in shock to hear her sister use that word. “Becca! Language.”
Rebecca giggled at Fanny’s shock. “You can blame my new husband for my use of that word. He’s made me an honest woman in every sense of the word. I highly recommend a second marriage to a scoundrel. They are very good for helping a lady loosen more than her corset.”
“If you say so,” Fanny replied, but she’d yet to meet a scoundrel she could like. The closest she’d come was an appreciation for an actor with a murky past and lock-picking skills.
“I do. Well, that is enough sisterly advice delivered for one day. I suppose I should return this young man to the nursery before the duchess scolds me for keeping him from his sleep. Unless you want to keep him.”
“No, it would be wise to return him before you incur the duchess’ wrath,” Fanny murmured, laughing because Gillian was a gentle soul.
“I’ll visit the duchess’ chamber after that and see if I’m needed,” Rebecca said. “Come find me before I go if you need to talk.”
“I will,” Fanny whispered as she caught sight of Jeremy Dawes striding past their door.
But that couldn’t be.
Jeremy had left the estate yesterda
y. His room was empty, his fine clothes gone, too.
Fanny handed Liam to Rebecca quickly, keen to confirm that she hadn’t just imagined seeing him.
Jeremy’s parting remarks played through her mind again, as they had for all of last night. He’d suggested she was spoiled, acting as if she was entitled to take whatever and whoever she wanted without any care for their opinion. And he’d been right to a degree. There were few things she’d ever really cared about since becoming a widow.
But she cared about Jeremy Dawes.
All morning she’d tried to convince herself that she was better off without him, with no real conviction.
She stood, followed Rebecca to the base of the stairs, hoping to see him again. But her stomach churned with uncertainty at the knowledge he might have stayed. But what was he doing if he wasn’t with her? And where had he spent last night?
She walked to the doorway of the library and looked around; but it was an empty room and there was no sign of him on any chair.
Disappointment crushed her.
But then Jeremy slid down a library ladder right next to the door she’d just walk through and she jumped ten feet in the air.
Despite the surprise, elation filled her. She had missed him. His easy company, his amusing banter. His presence in the room. His hands. She had worried that he’d traveled safely back to London on the stage. “Jeremy!”
“If you’re looking for the duke, he’ll be back in a moment.” His tone was polite, but then his gaze slipped away.
Why hadn’t Jeremy gone?
“That’s fine,” Fanny murmured, moving closer. “I was hoping we might talk.”
Jeremy did not look pleased as he folded his arms over his chest and glowered. “What about?”