A flicker of movement caught his eye and he halted.
Kneeling near the edge of the water Kitty hunched, scrubbing her arms.
“Kitty?” He neared and crouched beside her, touching her shoulder. “Kitty, are you—”
She squealed and smacked his hand away, her eyes wild. Instantly, she grabbed her chest and released a heavy sigh. “Oh, Nathaniel, ‘tis you. Forgive me, I thought you were... I just... I didn’t know you were there.”
The tremor in her voice pulled a frown from within him that settled on his face. “I didn’t mean to frighten you.”
Blinking, she turned back to the water and scrubbed at her hands and arms with such fury Nathaniel’s own skin began to sting.
“Kitty, you are clean now.”
She didn’t look at him. “I am not clean.” Her voice wobbled. “I will never be clean.”
Kitty dabbed at her cheeks with her sleeve.
He touched her again but removed his hand when she flinched. Had the trauma been that much for her? Resting his arm on his knee, Nathaniel stared at the ripples licking the mud at the edge of the pond. Perhaps he’d been too rash in his assumption that helping with such a surgery wouldn’t have much affect on her. He’d taken part in amputations dozens upon dozens of times, but this might have been her first. Inwardly he groaned. Considering her own recent illness, ‘twas foolishness to have asked for her assistance when he knew full well her fragile state of recovery.
He glanced at the sky. Sending a quick prayer heavenward, he touched her gently on the shoulder. “Let me walk you home, you must rest.”
“Nay.” Tears continued to fall. “I don’t wish to go home. I must finish here.”
“Kitty, if you refuse to come, I’m afraid I shall have to carry you and I know you won’t like that.”
She didn’t even look up.
He clamped his fingers around her shoulders, and pulled her to her feet. “You are not well, Kitty. I’m taking you home.”
She wriggled to escape his grasp, her volume rising. “Leave me alone!” Pressing against his chest, Kitty’s red-rimmed eyes and ruddy cheeks glistened. “I don’t want to go home—I don’t want to see anyone ever again!”
She struggled against his hold, but the urgency that pumped in Nathaniel’s blood made his muscles flex all the way to the tips of his fingers. What had happened? Just an hour ago she was lucid and calm, now it seemed she was consumed by fear, as she had been the night she thought he was someone else. And yet, now she knew who he was.
Forcing his voice to stay calm he tipped his head to catch her gaze. “Please, Kitty you must calm yourself. You are fine now, everything is fine.”
“Everything is not fine!” Her shrill cry split the air. “Everything is so much worse than it ever was before.”
He shook her shoulders and tried to meet her gaze, but she refused to look at him. “Make sense, Kitty!”
Her melodic voice turned flat. “Leave me, Nathaniel.”
Nathaniel dropped his hands and stepped back. Rage mixed with confusion, creating a noxious fume in his lungs. “I refuse to leave, Kitty, until you help me understand what it is that pains you so.”
“You will never understand. No one will ever understand.” She cupped her face in her hands as a flood of sobs shook her shoulders.
The sound of her anguish tore at him. He could no longer ignore his instincts and swung his arms around her quivering frame, cradling her against his chest. Her muffled weeping tugged at the precarious emotions already treading across his heart. Hot tears bled across his shirt making the fabric stick to his skin. But the only thing he cared to notice was the way she melted into his embrace. Her slight arms wound around him, gripping him as if she were lost at sea and he was her line to safety.
Lord, I would help her, please tell me how.
On and on her tears flowed. Nathaniel nuzzled into her sweet-smelling hair and stroked her back. If only she would confide in him, he would be willing to suffer the very pains of hell for her. His heart had chosen Kitty Campbell, and there was no going back.
But what about unity? What about a family rooted together in truth?
Nathaniel closed his eyes against the warring thoughts. There would be time enough to contemplate such things. Not now. Not when she needed him most.
When her sobs faded to sniffles he eased her away and looked into her glistening eyes. “Darling, you cannot know how my heart breaks to see you suffer. But I can’t know how I can help until you confide in me.”
Her dainty chin quivered, wavering Nathaniel’s already shaky foundation.