He chuckled. “It’s West. He wrote an article about it.”
I nodded, thought maybe that could be it, that could be me. I wouldn’t know until I read up on it, and hell, maybe not even then. Who knew identity was filled with so many shades of gray? “Maybe.” I shrugged. “I’ll look into it. Right now I’m just like…what the fuck are we going to do? We kissed, and he jerked us off the last time, and—”
“What is going on here? Is it April Fool’s Day? This is so wild.”
“Yes, I get it. You’re jealous because I didn’t get all demiromantic and bi for you,” I teased.
“You wish.”
Getting serious, I said, “I’ve never had to be nervous about sex before. Even my first time, I’d watched a whole hell of a lot of porn first. I figured I knew my way around a woman’s body and, well, I’d been fucking great at it.”
“Did you watch gay porn?”
“No.”
“Good, because porn isn’t an accurate representation. Just…talk to Jeremy. Go slow. Follow your instincts. I’d never been with a guy when I was first with West, and we didn’t have any issues.” Yeah, but he’d always known he wanted to be with men. I hadn’t. I still didn’t know for sure what I was. “Trust yourself. Trust Jeremy. You guys will be fine.”
I stood, my body achy from the game. My knees were fucking killing me. “Thanks, man.”
“No problem. I still can’t believe this is happening, though. Does West know?”
“I don’t think so. I’m cool with you telling him. I’m pretty sure Jeremy was waiting for me to tell you. He didn’t want to out me as…”
“You,” Anson replied. “You’re still you, whether you’re bi, pan, demiromantic, or you don’t claim a label. You know that, right?”
I did…or thought I did. Maybe. “I’m gonna head out.”
I went to bump his fist with mine, but Anson stood and gave me a hug. I returned it. When I got to the door, he said, “Hey, Edwards?”
“Yeah?”
“I’m happy for ya, man.”
“Thanks. I’m happy too. He’s…fuck, I’m crazy about him, Ans.” Which was why I didn’t need to freak out about what we did or didn’t do tonight. So much of my dating life had been centered around sex, so while I did want to fool around with him, I was edgy not knowing what to expect.
I forced myself to shove those thoughts aside. I’d played a killer game tonight. My team was undefeated. I had a great best friend who’d just let me yap to him about sex. I had a man I was totally into, and I was on my way to see him. All that shit was what mattered. I was on top of the world and didn’t plan on coming down.
Chapter Seventeen
Jeremy
As soon as I heard a knock at the door, a smile tugged at my lips. I had no idea what was going to happen with Darren. I didn’t think we’d fuck, but I got prepared just in case. I wanted to wait for that, though. I’d never done the ease-into-intimacy thing, which was another way this was different for both of us. Plus, I wanted to save that until we could have the whole night together.
When I’d gotten back to the room from the game, I’d showered, changed, and tucked my Edwards jersey away. It was embarrassing, like I had a schoolyard crush on the most popular boy, the one everyone knew I didn’t really have a chance with.
I opened the door and there he was, slipping inside. Every time I saw Darren, it struck me how gorgeous he was. The light whiskey color of his eyes and his full lips. How muscular his body was and the dusting of stubble along his jaw. “Hey, you.” I closed us in together.
“What’s up?” Darren didn’t hesitate to wrap his arms around me, to let his hand rest above my ass. “So…you kinda suck at this boyfriend thing.”
I cocked a brow. “Boyfriend thing?” We definitely hadn’t discussed that, but even though this was new for Darren, him jumping right in fit his personality. Darren didn’t take much seriously. He was a go-with-the-flow kind of guy, soaking in experiences. I just hoped that if he decided this was an experience he didn’t want to last, my heart would remain intact afterward.
“Closest thing I could think of to fit. You’re not just the guy I’m fucking—can I even word it that way since men in relationships fuck each other? Wait…you said you’re vers, right, which means you go both ways? So, you’ll want to fuck me? We’re gonna have to work up to that. I still don’t understand how it feels good. I know you were throwing around words like prostate and magic button, but…”
I laughed. God, I liked him so fucking much. Too much. “If you don’t want me to, I won’t fuck you.”