He diminishes every fear, each anxious thought, and all my pain with a single touch. He doesn’t relent the moment my orgasm hits, and a cry is ripped from my chest, muffled by the blade between my teeth, into the emptiness that surrounds us. He rises in one fluid motion. The hiss of his zipper is all I hear. I watch in awe, as he fists himself, the thickness that’s about to fill me is hard and ready.
With his hands on my thighs, Damien lifts my legs, and I wrap them around his taut waist. He nudges my entrance, eyes glowing, smirk firmly in place, and sinks into me inch by torturously thick inch.
“Fuck,” he hisses through clenched teeth. His forehead touching mine, making our connection even closer. He doesn’t move for a moment, allowing me to adjust before he pulls out slowly and thrusts back in. The gentle way he’s fucking me causes tears to burn my eyes.
Emotion emanates from him like a cologne. It’s not only about sex. It’s also not just lust and need or desire, it’s more. And he’s showing me with his body. His mouth crashes to mine, stealing my moans and whimpers, as he moves inside me, filling me to the hilt, before teasing back out.
My hips undulate, my slick walls pulse around him, taking him in deep, needing him to fill a void I knew I always had. It haunted me for so long, but with him, it feels complete.
He drives in, hitting parts of me that are not just physical. He’s nudging my heartache and fear, he’s fucking my agony and anxiety, he’s owning every part of me, and I allow it because I cannot refuse him anything.
Love doesn’t find you when you want it or look for it. The feeling comes silently in the darkness and slices you open, burying itself in your veins, in your bones, right down to the marrow.
Love captures you when you least expect it, and it’s a cut so deep, I’m afraid it will never heal if he were to walk away. But as he claims my mind, body, and soul, I am convinced that he can’t leave me, just as much as I can’t leave him.
I blink, and the heartbreak trickles down my cheeks in salty tracks. The kiss turns heated when Damien’s tongue dances with mine. A soft, pain-filled connection that pours our emotions into each other. And as we fuck and kiss, and cry and moan, I realize I’ve fallen in love with him.
The same way he’s telling me with his body how much he loves me.
40
Nesrin
The sun hasn’t risen when I open my eyes. I know today is the day I need to see my mom, Mallory. Last night, everything was too much to even consider going to her. If I had, I may have said things I shouldn’t have said. It was safer to clear my head and think about what to tell her.
Now that I’m focused, I can go over and try to figure out how I’m going to deal with the truth. I also need to tell Marcia, who I now know is my aunt, that I want to leave with Damien. It’s my life, my choice; I’m old enough to leave, she can’t stop me.
After our run last night, Damien and I sat in his bedroom, looking over options for me to go to school in London. Even though my dream would be Oxford, I’ve come to the conclusion that I would much rather be free of the lies in Thorne Haven, and the family I thought would love me, and find my own path.
If this had happened a few years ago, I’m not sure I could’ve been as strong as I am right now. Deep down, there is still a twinge of anxiety that twists in my gut, at the thought of what’s going to happen today, but it’s nothing compared to what I used to feel.
The run last night eased my need to cut. I told Damien I’d like to talk to a professional as well. And he promised the moment we got to London, he’d make an appointment with a couple of therapists who his dad is friends with, and I’ll be able to meet with them, before settling on my choice. The thought of him supporting me definitely makes me feel special, and last night, something shifted between us. We may not have said the words, but they burned on the tip of my tongue.
If he hadn’t been kissing me at the time, I may have muttered them out loud. But I’m not sure either of us is ready for that.
Pushing off the bed, I pad toward the bathroom to get ready for the day. If I don’t do it now, I’ll most probably hide out until Damien announces that we’re leaving. He’s delayed his flight till tonight, which gives me time to talk to Mallory and Marcia.