“It’s funny, a couple months ago, I would have been paralyzed with fear right now over what happened. I mean, I’m scared,” I said, “But I’m dealing with it.”

“That’s a good thing. You’ve grown.”

“I’ve grown because Jack helped me do that. But he’s gone. I’m not the same in good and bad ways because he left.”

Bea nodded. “Jack needs certain things in his life to function. Like control. But he’s also loyal to a fault. He would do anything for people he loves.”

I hung my head. I wasn’t one of those people. Cal and Bea were, I hadn’t been. The pain still stabbed, but there was nothing I could do. And I was happy with Cal.

“I love Cal,” I admitted, and Bea smiled.

“I know, honey.”

“But what if I can’t get Jack’s shadow out of my system?”

“Jack’s presence is a powerful one. That’s what happens when someone affects your life, both in good and bad ways. They linger.

”

“I feel like I’m betraying Cal.”

“No, honey, you’re dealing with emotions that are strong. The boys know what they got themselves into with you.”

“What do you mean?”

Bea just looked at me with a little shock and then softness. Softness that resembled pity. “They’re like brothers, honey,” she said, like I wasn’t aware of how close they were. “Just because Jack isn’t in Denver doesn’t mean that stops.”

Cal admitted that Jack already knew about us. But it didn’t occur to me that they spoke regularly. “So, you think Jack and Cal talk a lot?”

“I know that those two boys are thick and have never kept secrets from each other. I also know they wouldn’t hurt each other, or you.”

And yet, Jack left. But Bea’s admission shouldn’t shock me. Of course they would talk. I wasn’t a part of any of that, and probably for a good reason. I told Cal once that I didn’t want to know.

“I don’t know all the details. The boys have had their own language since they were kids that I just don’t understand, but what I do know is that you’re in the middle.”

My lips parted because so much concern plagued her face. “They’ve gone through some tough times together, but you’re the only thing I’ve been truly worried about.”

“Worried?” I asked.

She nodded. “Honey, you’re the only thing powerful enough to wreck them both.”

I gasped. “That…no, I wouldn’t—”

“I know you wouldn’t. But it doesn’t mean that’s not how it will end up.”

“But Jack left. He wrecked me.”

I hated sounding like I was pleading my own case, but I had no choice. It was the first time I’d really talked out loud about details and remembered the way Jack looked at me before he turned his back.

“I fought for him,” I said, water lining my voice. “And he walked.”

“I know, honey.” She pulled me into a hug. “I know. But don’t think Jack walked away without some scratches too.”

“It doesn’t matter. I love Cal, and I just want…” Bea leaned back and looked at me. “I want to say I wish I’d never met Jack. That I want everything but Cal and me to go away. All the experiences and time and pain and—”

“Love?”

I nodded. Loving Jack was so different than loving Cal. They each brought out something different. Maybe Cal had been right. Maybe it was better that things had happened the way they did and I’d met Jack how I did. Because it made me who I was. Made me able to love Cal the way I did.

Tags: Joya Ryan Reign Erotic
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